Two Daddies

The next morning, Jason returns from his sleepover. Marcus and I breakfast the kids and take them to a few galleries. While I go to pick up Rachel at Penn Station, he takes the kids to a bookstore to burn off some gift certificates they received at Christmas.

I wait around for Rachel, as her bus has been delayed. We smile as she disembarks. We’ve just seen each other at Thanksgiving, but I have really missed her. Now that she is old enough to take the bus, I hope we can continue to see each other this often.

She’s looking forward to seeing Marcus too. He made a great impression when they met on her last trip. He’s funny and flirts with her, and she eats that up. She hasn’t met his kids before. Tonight there will be eight of us sleeping at my place. She’s okay with that, though: she’s got many siblings back home. She can manage a crowd for one night.

We meet Marcus and the kids at a restaurant for a late lunch. We sit at a large round table. After we order, the kids share the books they found, and chat up Rachel. I’m sitting next to Marcus.

We turn a few heads, I notice. I suppose we look like a nice family: lots of kids and two doting dads. Marcus and I joke about getting married and becoming a gay Brady Bunch.

In reality, that just can’t happen, if for no other reason than the restrictions of our respective custody agreements. For the sake of the kids, he needs to live near his ex, and I need to live near mine. We live several states apart.

When I was first single after the break up, a gay friend told me I should give up girls and find a rich husband. He said I was perfect for someone who has built up a career, burned out on the party scene, and is looking to settle down and have a family.

It’s an appealing thought. A nice house, a caring husband . . .

I could certainly do worse than Marcus. He’s charming, funny, sexy and very handsome. We would be the envy of all the boys.

For me, it also helps that he is bi and as slutty as I am. There would be no pretense of monogamy. And forget about giving up women—he would bring them home for us.

Last week, The New York Times ran a summary of words and phrases that have emerged in the American lexicon during the past year. Among these is the phrase “two-parent family.” I suppose this means that single parent families are now so common that one needs to clarify when two parents live together.

I am no fan of being a single parent. It is certainly easier to have Marcus around. Even adding two kids to the mix doesn’t detract from the advantages of having another adult to pitch in.

Over the course of this visit, as we hang out or go to the park, I am aware of how well our parenting styles mesh. He’s a bit more of a disciplinarian than I am, I think, but he’s very reasonable about it. He defers to me on many things, and I defer to him on others. We don’t confuse the kids at all. We are consistent.

Marcus is also good in a crisis.

It was dark as we left the restaurant, and we were a big group. I lag behind to help Collie with his coat. When we catch up to our group at the corner, I notice that Jason and Marcus’s eldest boy are not with them. Marcus and Rachel have just noticed it too.

They vanished. We look in all directions, but there is no sign of them among the crowds.

We strategize. We are close to home and Jason knows the way there. I will walk east, taking the kids home. Marcus will walk south, and meet us at the apartment. We talk calmly so the kids won’t get upset.

Rachel comes with me. Lillie and Marcus’s other son seem unconcerned, but Collie is clearly working hard to be brave. We arrive home—no sign of the boys.

I call Marcus. No luck. By this time, he is in a cab, cruising side streets.

I’m worried. If Jason had headed home, he should have been there before us. Marcus frets about child molesters. I don’t go there.

We get a call. The boys had crossed the street ahead of us, not realizing that we weren’t behind them. Half a block away, they realized they were alone. They did exactly the right thing: they went into a restaurant and called us.

Marcus picked them up and brought them home. We talked with the boys about what had happened. Jason was pretty shaken, and sat on my lap as we talked. I held and soothed him, telling him he did the right thing.

After the kids were settled and back to playing video games, I hugged Marcus. This would have been much scarier without him.