Loose Ends

There are some significant loose ends.

First, I have felt that I should talk with my ex Lucy about the sex we had over Christmas, about how well we got along, and about her stoned inquiry about getting back together.

Lucy sees no need to talk, as all of that was just something that happened. We have been getting along fine since then.

Today she called to say she is comfortable with our final divorce agreement, which is still in process.

I suppose, then, that we have had this conversation without having it.

Second, there is May’s haywire break up with me—via instant messages. I let that go for a day or so, then sent this note:

I’m still bewildered by the “let’s break up” instant messages you sent.

I’m going to put aside my option to be angry about that (never mind what Emily Post may say about breaking up via answering machines or instant messages . . . )

I know you have been sick and under a lot of stress about the possibility of moving to California. I know you are trying to settle the books, emotionally and more, so that you can be free and clear if and when you move.

I also know that I have zero tolerance for relationship drama. I don’t have the time, energy or patience for a break up/make up scene. That’s just the stuff of childish tantrums, and I don’t do tantrums with anyone over four feet tall.

So if you really want to “break up,” we can do that. Or we can also just give it time.

You need to figure out your life. I am unwilling to be the deciding factor about California. If that job is what you think it is, and you will be making good money, then I will not be the reason you turned it down.

God knows I need to focus on my work. For now, I think my free weekends really are best used to get things done. Not to mention that I am very focused on my relationship with Rachel; if I can give her time, I want to.

So for now, I will take your offer of a “break up.” Or a hiatus, or whatever.

Let’s take a breath. You get your shit together, I will work on mine.

Love,
J

She called soon after I sent this note, and left a message saying she wanted to talk. I’m not ready for that.