The group sex parties I host every two weeks—aka the “gatherings”—are gaining in notoriety.
Our ex-pat Geri—now resident at the cafes and byways of monogamy—was at a sex-tinged downtown party last weekend. She overheard someone mention “Jefferson’s parties,” and turned to say, oh, I’ve been to a few of those.
Jaws dropped.
Really? You know Jefferson? How do you get into his parties?
She played it cool, letting them know that it depends on whom you know.
We laughed about that.
Word of mouth does wonders for us. Still, we post on various lists. Just before this week’s party, I got an email saying only:
Could you gve me the address for the party?
Well, no, I can not. The vetting process can be time consuming, and the gathering was a few hours off. I replied:
Thanks for responding to our ad. The gathering is tonight, so this is rather short notice. To begin with, can you send a pic? Do you have a partner?
He replied:
I can bring Suzy. Here is our photo.
Even as I downloaded the jpg, I got this email:
Suzy can’t come, so it would only be me.
I’ve been down this road a few times. Every horny man online works the angles on sex parties.
I replied:
That’s too bad that Suzy can’t join you. Keep in touch, though: we meet every two weeks.
He immediately responded:
WHY CAN’T I COME?
Why can’t you come?
Gee mister, good question. With all your charm, why shouldn’t you come to my home in a few hours and fuck my friends?
Perhaps because you wrote an email in all caps, and big letters indicate the workings of a small mind.
Is this guy kidding?
Apparently not. I declined to respond to this email. The morning after, I found this in my inbox:
ARE YOUR PARTIES FREE? ARE THE PEOPLE THIN?
I toyed with a few possible responses.
We are all thin as rails, and we are hungry for you. The gate is $5000.
We are all outrageously fat and outrageously rich.
Only one of our group is overweight, and she has agreed to go on a diet to lure you in. You are that irresistible. Give us a few months as she sheds the pounds.
Instead, I decline to answer.
Here’s a fellow who should just stay home and masturbate to “Real Sex” on HBO.
We’re too busy having real sex.
8 comments:
I'm glad you're the gatekeeper for the parties. That guy sounds like a real asshole. The people you have at the parties are definitely cool. And I'm glad everyone's definition of hot isn't confined to "thin". (Those whose definition is confined to thin miss out on the Kinky Librarian! Their loss!)
And the vetting is done personally, by you? (Raising hand) Vet me please, vet me! Hee hee.
glee
Indeed they are, oh kinky one.
And Ms Glee: you are going to get such a vetting . . .
It occurs to me that you two may have much in common. I mean, the world can't be too full of bondage-loving librarians who make way too much noise during sex, can it?
What are the odds that I would know two? No wait, three . . . Bridget is a librarian too.
I'm starting to find that kinky librarians aren't rare at all.
I think we already have enough kinky librarians to propose a panel at the next conference of the American Library Association.
I love your blog both for its kinky fun unabashedness and your very caring nature towards both your children and playmates. I wondered what you would advise someone who wanted to create their own sex party. What are the trials and tribulations you would warn against?
Thanks,
Azuzil
I know four noisy kinky librarians?!
Must come from all that shushing. A day of admonishing others to be quiet must leave y'all wanting someone else to make you holler.
Reading old posts after linking from Lolita's LJ.
I used to date a woman who was also a kinky, noisy librarian. Very mousy and meek on the outside, and then in bed - a crazy wild sex machine.
Tanya
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