A few days after Anna’s dinner, I woke at six. My mind was still fuzzy as I went over my customary morning checklist.
Where are the kids? With their mom.
Pressing deadline? Not really.
Anyone else in my bed? No.
Good.
My lids lowered. I could sleep in a bit.
A little before eight, the phone rang. My hand answered before my mind could remind it to screen calls.
“Hello?”
“Hey baby.” It was Anna. “Are you asleep?”
“No.” I rolled back on the pillow, resting my eyes on the far corner of my room. “What’s up?”
“Just checking on you, seeing how you are doing.”
“I’m fine. And you?”
“I’m fine. A little sore from rehearsals, but nothing major.” Pause. “I’ve been thinking . . .”
“About?”
“It just . . . it just strikes me as . . . odd that you didn’t tell Jason I would be there the other night.”
“Yeah, it must have slipped my mind that morning, getting the kids off to school and all.” I propped myself up in my pillow.
“I’m not sure I understand why you didn’t tell your children sooner than that day. We made those plans a week beforehand.”
“It just didn’t seem that such advance notice was warranted." I rubbed my eyes and squinted. The opposite corner came into sharper focus. "You don't want to make too big a deal about these things. For the kids, it’s just dinner with a friend of Dad’s.”
“But I’m not just a friend of Dad’s. Kids are very perceptive, Jefferson. They pick up on things.”
“Yeah.”
“It’s important that your children feel they have a voice in your life, Jefferson. They don’t want to feel they are left out of the choices you make that may affect them. Because baby, your life is their life too. You have to be aware of that, and bring them into your life.”
“Uh huh.”
“Jason just looked so shocked . . .”
“Surprised, maybe. ‘Shock’ is too strong a word.”
“Surprised, then. But he walked in and saw his father sitting in his home with a woman! He must know something is going on. How do you think he felt not knowing what to expect? He’s getting older. He knows things.”
“Yeah.”
“Is that all you have to say?”
“Yeah. Look, I need to go. I have to get to work.”
“Oh . . . well, okay. Talk to you later.”
“Okay. Bye.”
“Bye.”
I put down the phone. I closed my eyes. This is not worth being pissed about, I thought.
She means well. But fuck.
I threw back the covers.
One. Two. Three.
I sat up.
I made coffee and showered. I made the bed and dressed.
As I worked, I got an email from Anna. It read, in part:
Are you okay? You were pretty unresponsive this morning.
I replied, in part:
That’s pretty much the response to be expected when someone without children offers unsolicited advice to a parent. Put aside book smarts and my background as an educator—I know my kids. I know how to handle a situation like our dinner.
I also know you care, Anna. And I appreciate that. I really do.
She was abjectly apologetic in response. Maybe I came on too harsh.
I was not that perturbed, I assured her. No big deal.
See you later this week. And really, thanks for caring so much.
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4 comments:
more weaseling and before coffee.. man..
is that one L or two?
Kids want to feel as if they are part of their parent's choices? Ew, not those choices. As a kid, I didn't want to pick lovers for my dad.... besides, I knew that it wasn't my choice to make.
Again, why I keep the son & lovers apart. I don't now how you juggle this, Jefferson.
Am I the only one wondering why you continue to bother with this woman?
She reads like more trouble than she's worth.
plus, the idea of telling young kids a week out about a friend coming over for dinner...
do you have to have children to understand how ridiculous that is?
anna is uncool about that whole evening. and overall, she seems to refuse to accept your lifestyle, although you have told her about it time and time again. i am voting her off the bed.
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