Lillie was curled in my arms, holding her blanket in Daddy’s lap. She sucked her thumb, content.
It was nearly time for bed.
Lillie was drifting. Daddy was exhausted.
She stretched, lurching suddenly. Her cranium crashed into my chin.
That smarted!
“Ow, Godammit,” I muttered, instinctively.
“Goddammit.” Lillie giggled.
“No! You don’t say that!” I tickled her.
She laughed her easy bray and caught her breath.
Beat.
“Goddammit.”
More tickles.
“Lillie! You know you shouldn’t use bad words! I’m sorry I did. But for a five-year-old, that is really no good!”
She snickered. “I know the “F” word too.”
“No, you don’t.”
“I do!”
“Don’t say it.”
“I have a secret.”
“Don’t say it.”
“Come close.” She was consumed with giggles.
“Okay.” I leaned in. “But please don’t say it.”
She laughed a word into my ear.
“What?” I leaned in.
She laughed again.
“What?!”
She caught her breath and whispered:
“Fuggit.”
She burst out laughing.
“No! Lillie, you can’t say that word! It’s not right!”
Giggles. “Fuggit.”
“No, honey, don’t!”
“I know the ‘S’ word too.”
“No you don’t!”
"Yes!" Giggles. “Stupid.” Peal of laughter.
“Lillie, no! You can’t say these words!”
“Collie taught me the ‘A’ word too.”
“Do you say it?”
“No. He told me, then told me to wipe it off my tongue.” She licked her palm. “Now I don’t know it.”
“Can you please wipe the ‘F’ word off your tongue too?”
“Yes.”
“Do it.”
“Okay.” She giggled. “Fuggit.” She stuck out her tongue and wiped it with her hand. “All gone.”
“Good! Now, let’s wash hands, brush teeth and go to bed.”
“Okay.” She lay back in my arms. “Carry me?”
“You are the devil. Come on, youse.”
She giggled.
sex
sexblogs
bisexuality
parenting
cursing
5 comments:
Lillie just can't be the devil!
When Miles was 3, I told him to pick up his books so we could go to the park.
"No."
"Miles, you must pick up the books, or no park."
"youfuckingasshole"
I was sure that I had misheard him. He is Three!! Nope. Tristan (that little shit) in his class had taught him.
So, there you go. The first swear word my child brings home from preschool. A swear phrase. A damn fucking good one at that.
(Just in case you are curious, I don't use harsh language in front of my kids. In their book, "shut up" is a horribly "bad word.")
sigh.
Oh, I never curse in front of the kids, Maddie.
But there are those moments, sparked by sudden pain or frustration, where my Southern manners are displaced by involuntary outbursts that would bring a blush to a sailor with Tourette Syndrome.
yes, those Southern manners are useful, but one does get quite good at using words like "daggummit," "dagnabbit," "fffun," and "sssshhhhhhugar shack!"
Admittedly, those fall to the wayside when pain is involved. thank goodness.
I've learned to say 'fried steak' when swearing around kids.
Post a Comment