Friday, March 23, 2007

Fleshbot and Wanderlust

This week’s Sex Blog Roundup at Fleshbot lifts the veil on married couples for whom the honeymoon never ended. Read up on the monogamists, the swingers, the dungeonistas—and my crush of the week, Homme and Femme, and their girlfriend, Siobhan.

If I ever head back up the aisle, I’m taking notes from these folks.

Speaking of “been there, done that,” this week I had sex in the Bronx. It was perfectly steamy sex—involving a bed, a floor and the unexpected arrival of a roommate—but even more, it was landmark sex, as I had never before had sex in the northernmost of the city’s five boroughs.

Now, only Staten Island remains unfucked on my sex map of the city that never sleeps for all the sleeping around.

You might think that with all the sex I have, I would have long since burned through the city’s neighborhoods. But in fact, since the demise of my late marriage, my pants are most often dropped within my own home. I take good advantage of one of New York’s finest attractions: you can get anything delivered.

As I mentally scratched the Bronx from my list of virgin territories, my mind wandered to larger maps. I pondered the Manifest Destiny of my libido’s open borders.

Of these fifty United States, I have had sex in only sixteen, plus the District of Columbia. It’s as if my nation of sex has yet to find its Louisiana Purchase.

Of the one-hundred-and-ninety-two constituent states of the United Nations, only fifteen have stamped my sexual passport. Five of these came from a tour of Central America that proved to be un viage muy ambicioso. If not for that insatiable isthmus and the United States, I’d have an unacceptably short itinerary.

Still, I’m closing in on the continents, with only two of seven left with pristine shores. One of these seems a readily addressed oversight, but how will I ever manage Antarctica?

Bronx, my Bronx, you have awakened my wanderlust. Oh, to feel the salt spray of the Staten Island ferry.


Viviane said...

Um, sex in the breakdown lane of the Verranzano Bridge?

Goldslut said...

Funny, just last night my friend from Staten Island and I were plotting about how one would have sex on the S.I. Ferry. To date, I've had sex with Staten Island (or at least a representative native son), but not on it. But I'm sure it could be arranged.

Elle said...

Ever so slightly off topic, but in the city that never sleeps, whats the oddest thing you've had delivered?

Jefferson said...

The oddest thing to be delivered?

Well, I once ordered a mattress after midnight, and it was delivered at seven the next morning. That impressed me.

I've received funiture, books, groceries and meals. I've received bacon, bourbon and blowjobs.

I've received a man who wanted to wear panties, another who sheathed his body entirely in panty hose, and another who wanted his penis size to be mocked as a girlfriend fucked him with a strap-on.

I've received divinity and peanut brittle.

But I suppose the oddest thing to arrive might have been a feather boa. I mean, that's odd, right? Who knew one could have a boa delivered?

gingembre AKA Jenn said...

So I guess you would have found my sex on the Staten Island Ferry story amusing, hmmm?

Bianca said...

I know you've been to Canada but if you haven't been fucked in Canada then I suggest that you come and pay me a visit so we can take care of that.

femmegyrl said...

well Jefferson, i must say that staten island has very little going for it by way of charms. Although there is something magical about the Staten Island Ferry round about sunrise, especially after on of those onderful nights of talking and making out and getting to know a person. I highly reccomend getting your sweet self fucked on the ferry.
wanderlust is a gorgeous thing.

"Laura" in AK said...

When you've conquered Staten Island, you should think about having sex in the largest state in the U.S.
It also has the largest coastline. Talk about "pristine shores".
And while there, you should definitely consider sex in the bush areas.
Just think of all the puns and jokes you could get out of that one experience.
Shit man, you gotta get on that!

Tom Paine said...

We're still married, but that can't be said for all the poly and swinging bloggers out there, so I commend you for looking back over the pack.

As to Staten Island, well imagine "The Sopranos" with MORE attitude. That's an overgeneralization, and we have some SI friends, but it does seem to be the worst of the "Bridge & Tunnel" crowd.

Wait a min! That's me!

Anonymous said...

You dork.

Glad you have values.

Josh Jasper said...

I'll take Manhattan, the Bronx, and Staten Island too, it's lovely going through the zoo
It's very fancy on old Delaney Street, you know.
The subway charms us so, when balmy breezes blow to and fro.
And tell me what street compares with Mott street in July,
Sweet push carts gently gliding by
The great big city's a wondrous toy, just made for a girl and boy.
I'll turn Manhattan into an isle of joy.
I'll go to Greenwich, where modern men itch to be free.
And Bowling Green you'll see with me.
We'll bathe at Brighton, the fish you'll frighten
When you're in your bathing suit so thin, will make shellfish grin fin to fin.
I'd like to take a sail on Jamaica Bay with you, the fair Canarsies Lake we'll view
The city's bustle cannot destroy the dreams of a girl and boy,
I'll turn Manhattan into an isle of joy.

Gray Lily said...

The great Northwest seems to be sorely lacking for representation here. I'm talking about those states way out west, on the top left hand corner of your map. We have sex and kink galore - come on out and join the fun.

I'm sure Mr Stern could find it in his heart to let me help you cross another state off your list, if you do make it this far. He is a rather generous guy, after all.

Best of luck with Staten Island in the meantime.