Friday, August 31, 2007

Fleshbot and First Dates

This week’s Sex Blog Roundup at Fleshbot stretches back for one last long summer weekend. Before we’re too fully buttoned up in back-to-school clothes, let’s wiggle our toes in the grass once more and let the sun shine where it soon won’t.

Those of you who enjoy stalking me will find that Wendy gets the warm spot in a post-coital shower that goes unexpectedly golden.

Unlikely as it seems, Lily also forgoes potty training to emerge as the dark horse candidate for Orgy Ass Queen.

Cody discovers that even the most anal retentive perverts can’t hide all the evidence as her barely legal cousin takes a self-guided tour of my bedroom. She’s a little more sly in sneaking in some tender moments behind her cousin’s back, until the inevitable “ew” of discovery.

On the sweet side, Bridget reflects on her lover previous to me, and ponders her year with the only lover she wanted after me.

Educating Erica finds she has more time to blog now that her man Levi is away—unfortunately, there’s less sex to blog, what with the man being absent and all. And so she busies herself by sending me sexy self-portraits to share with you.

For the record, Erica and I aren’t having sex—yet.

Meanwhile, on the clarifying edge of self-identification, Eileen comes out in my class on male bisexuality.

Speaking of clarification, a number of readers have noted that I’ve lately met many new people. That’s true if you judge by my blog; since April, my posts have dealt primarily with first dates.

This was true of stories concerning Fawn, Gina, Eden, Cody, Leah, Lily, Areum, Jacob and Carlos.

Now, if you are a devoted reader of online sex, you may realize that I’ve known a few of these people for quite some time, as some have written about our relationships in their own sex blogs. But even the most erudite smut scholar would be left wondering how things have played out with the others—for that, you’ll just have to stay tuned.

Looking back on these first dates, you may have noticed a trend in how I’ve met sex partners in the past couple of years. Lily, Leah, Jacob and Carlos were first casually encountered through Craig’s List, the city’s most popular site for dates and pick ups. The others found me though my blog.

I meet people for sex through this blog and I provide the URL to anyone with whom I have an ongoing sexual relationship. These practices make me an anomaly among the sex bloggers of my acquaintance, but I find that opening my life in this way supports my desire to be transparent and honest in my sexual relationships. Certainly, those listed above have access to my blog, whether or not they choose to read it.

This involves taking some risks, not the least of which is the sacrifice of a fair measure of privacy. It can also lead to the occasional outbursts of unwanted drama, as anyone who reads my blog also has access to the linked blogs of my other friends and lovers. I have no control over what anyone else writes, nor would I want to edit or hide their disclosures. On the contrary: once I became aware that there are those who stalk me across the blogosphere, I decided to make it easy to do so by compiling a weekly roundup of my sex life as it appears in other blogs.

To me, this is a salutary reward of being out of the closet—you can’t reasonably confront me for hiding what I’ve already given you.

This openness hopefully spares me from repeating the refrain of my first dates. I am bisexual. I have multiple partners. I have no current interest in monogamy. I don’t answer to anyone in choosing my sex partners. These things are unlikely to change in the near future.

I certainly understand why these guidelines would not appeal to some people, and that’s why it’s important they be duly warned. For those who stick around, I add a caveat—don’t come crying to me if you are upset to learn, on some blog or through gossip, of something that proves I am bisexual, I have multiple partners, I am not monogamous, and I don’t answer to anyone in choosing my sex partners. All of that was covered in bold-face type at the very beginning. These things are unlikely to change in the near future.

I am always available talk about my relationships and to work on sustaining them—that is all a part of being open and honest, after all—but if that proves repetitive or unproductive, we may need to accept that this may not be a good relationship to continue.

In my pursuit of honesty and avoidance of drama, I have increasingly realized how great a role this blog plays in my sexuality. It has become a significant actor in my life. Not only do I meet sex partners because of the blog (and through them, often, other sex partners), but also, the blog keeps my contract front and center. With each post, my basic guidelines are reiterated with new evidence. The longevity of the blog—nearly three years by this point—provides a deep archive that demonstrates, over and again, that I mean what I say up front.

I am nothing if not consistent.

Now, I have two more first date stories to relate before I go off on another theme. But before I tell those stories, I’m going to meet to your kind requests for more boy smut. If I’m very clever, I may even be able to weave in some aspects of the upcoming series. Find out in the next two installments of sex with Carlos.

Also, real quick, do me a favor. I’m getting some hits from Best Male Blogs, which offers a good compilation of the minority gender in sex blogging. At this site, blogs are rated by readers. So far, I’ve had only a few ratings and some of these from haters who give low marks (please, bitch, as if). Knock me up a few notches, won’t you, and while you’re there, be sure your favorite male bloggers are also listed.



Becca said...

I've had mixed feeling about sharing the fact I'm a (former) sex blogger with any lovers I have.

As a rule, I don't divulge that information. I like to know I have the freedom to write whatever I want without worrying about hurting someone's feelings. And, as my blog is so personal, I have things there I don't necessarily want casual lovers knowing.

This weekend at Floating World a new thought occurred to me as I played with new people: it would be most uncouth to write about them without their knowing. In this situation I was playing with people who were somewhat well known in the BDSM community and I would consider it a complete breech of confidence to write about them without their knowledge or consent. Even cloaking them in pseudonyms and sparse descriptions wouldn't soothe my conscience.

Maybe that's just me. Maybe I'm being overly conscientious. But, it's better to be safe than sorry no?

Wendy said...

Heh. I didn't know if you'd want to lay claim to that.

You really are the only one who could get away with peeing on me. :-P

Asian Big Girl said...

True, if you are one thing, it *is* consistent. What w/the hot sex, the legendary snoring (ahem), and the ability to break a bed every year,(you have a few months to go for 07) how could it be otherwise?

However, consider this a formal request: I would like a formal, detailed breakdown of the Mexican Hat Dance. I forgot to ask for it last week.

And ignore the haters. They're just jealous because you've got that fucking *awesome* ass. In fact, if Connor's ass wasn't *equally* as hot, I doubt we ever would have made it past the second date. ;)

Love you!

Anonymous said...

Ew, YOU peed on Wendy?! I had an unsettling inkling, but I was hoping that you might be good enough to keep that particular bodily fluid where it belongs--in the toilet (since you clearly need to be told).

And what's this?

I have no current interest in monogamy.

...I guess I'll take off that ring you bought me.

Becca said...

Cody, he's best friends with Marcus- what do you expect?

Wendy said...

Ah Cody, do you REALLY think I'd let anyone else pee on me with out a smack?

It wasn't that bad. It *was* in the shower after all. It was actually kind of cute and endearing. He seemed so pleased with himself, hitting my bellybutton and all.

And I thought of someone else who could get away with it. Jim can pee on me, when he gets back from riding around on the back of lions in Africa and writing poetry while living in a tent.

But only Jim and Jefferson. Thats it.

Anonymous said...

Interesting. It seems like once a year you this statement on your blog... You aren't interested in monogomy, you don't answer to anyone else about who you date ect... is this to remind yourself or to remind others?

Wendy said...

Darlin', you point me in the directions of the haters, and I'll whup ass.

Viviane said...

As I said last night, this should be subtitled "Dating Jefferson - the FAQ" and should be added to "From the Archives" on the sidebar.

Lolita said...

This is a brilliant post and long overdue. While one can figure this all out by reading the entire blog, this one post is like a friendly User's Manual! The only thing that would make it more clear would be putting it in bullet points.