Friday, August 17, 2007

Fleshbot and Blogging, Flogging

This week’s Sex Blog Roundup at Fleshbot gives urgent attention to those who simply can’t control their impulses. These folks are pure id.

Those of you who enjoy stalking me will find me tugging at Bridget's memory.

I am also on Maymay’s mind as he reflects on finding me kissing his girlfriend Eileen shortly after I fucked her boyfriend.

You’ll also find me outnumbered, as seven (Count ‘em! Seven!) of the city’s meanest sex blogging gals around took their turns at flogging me.

This excursion into le vice anglaise began innocently enough, as we assembled to be interviewed by BBC’s Channel Four for an upcoming program—excuse me, programme—on sex blogging.

The producers were primarily interested in blogging as it relates to female sexuality, rightly noting that the great majority of sex bloggers are women. Our group bore out that fact, as I was the sole representative of male bloggers.

Well, as you can imagine, things got pretty heated when the questions were geared to the differences between boys and girls. “Are they so different?” we argued.

I often ponder the gender skew in sex blogging, which I just can’t explain satisfactorily. I mean, the fact that so many sex bloggers are under thirty makes sense. Blogging is itself a new medium and it is common for young people to blog their diaries. Once sex comes into play, it’s natural that it would become a subject of great interest. And as the number of sex bloggers increase, the more I read from people over thirty.

But why are women more likely to blog sex? Or, conversely, why are relatively few men drawn to it? Near as I can tell—and this is obviously anecdotal—the gender ratio doesn’t change significantly as sex blogging evolves.

Is it because men are more visual and therefore prefer pornographic images, whereas women are more concerned with communication and therefore interested in written erotica? Are men more invested in sex acts, while women are more reflective about relationships?

Those are the kind of truisms people toss around, but I honestly don’t buy them. I’m just as sentimental and nurturing as the next girl, and the women I know aren’t any less likely than men to be aroused by smut and good sex. Based on my experiences and those of sex bloggers I know, those stereotypes ring false.

Still, perhaps there is something to the attraction to the medium itself. The majority of my readers are women, many of whom respond not just to the blazing hot sex but also to my writing about relationships and parenting. Could it be that my blog appeals to women because I write to women’s concerns? This isn’t intentional if so; certainly, I don’t write to disregard men’s interests.

Or maybe, as my secret girlfriend is fond of asserting, I really am a girl.

We’ll see what the BBC makes of our various musings on all this. On a few subjects, we were generally in agreement. Above all, we commended ourselves for doing something fairly bold, and agreed that sex blogging is empowering to each of us and, we hope, to readers.

That’s about the time that Viviane started pouring mint juleps.

Next thing I knew, I was stripped to my underwear and getting whipped.

Maybe I took one for the patriarchy.

Had I anticipated my martyrdom, I might have worn a loincloth. As it was, everyone got to see my manly blue boxers dotted with yellow rubber duckies.

You can read about it as recounted by Lolita, Viviane and Sinclair. While you are pondering sex blogging and why we do it, also take a look at Wendy’s thoughts.


Wendy said...

I totally didn't even blog about blog coz everyone else was. I supose dirty minds think alike.

Though I really did get an email asking if the real thing wasn't fun anymore.

Huh. Obviously a non reader.

And whats with this you wearing boxers? You never wear underwear. You in underwear is like me in a bra.

Asian Big Girl said...

Uhm, Dude, I hate to break it to know, like, you're one of my bestest *girlfriend,* right? ;)


Anonymous said...

I remember those boxers...and you were sexy as hell in them too!

Cdk said...

"blue boxers dotted with yellow rubber duckies"?

LOL those are awesome!

Anonymous said...

The gender disparity is something I thought about a lot when writing smut in my other blogs and now in this one.

I think a part of it is that, the kind of guys who might tend to be part of the sex-blog world, are also going to be the kind of guys who get uncomfortable with "locker-room talk." Since high-school, it was always the girls who I knew who felt comfortable talking about sex. For girls, it was empowering- I'm talking openly about sex, fuck you to stupid ideas that girls need to be coy and demure.

But for the guys I knew, myself included- the last thing we wanted was to be schmuck who brags about how many girls he's banged.

It’s probably not the only reason for the gender disparity. But I imagine it’s a big part of it.

David said...

I wouldn't be too quick to discount the "men are more visual" argument though, but I do think that at least the folks that read (and likely write) sex blogs are looking for as rich an experience between their ears as between their legs. Just a thought.