Wednesday, March 23, 2005

Sleepovers

Several days had passed since the most recent gathering. During that time I had juggled three kids, four work projects and eight sex partners.

Never mind the three butt plugs.

Mitzi called. Can we talk?

Sure, I said. Come on over.

As I waited for her to arrive, I made coffee, washed sex toys and put four loads of sheets into the wash. I worked. I had a rare morning to myself.

She smiled at the door. I took her coat and we sat on the couch.

Look Jefferson, she began, I am really enjoying getting to know you. It’s been a short time . . .

It seems like a much longer time, doesn’t it? I interrupted.

It does seem a long time, she agreed. A lot has happened, fast, and it’s been really . . . enlightening. And enjoyable. But—and I hope you don’t take this the wrong way—I am still trying to figure out what to do with all this.

How do you mean? I asked.

Well, it’s like this. I know you are fucking other people. I am fucking other people. Now we are fucking some of the same people.

True . . .

And I think about that, and I know that I have a tendency to be jealous . . . and I know that jealousy just isn’t a very appropriate response in this situation . . .

This is a very unusual situation, I agreed. I mean, I make no pretense about seeing other people. You read my blog, so you get details of that, and you attend parties where you see that with your own eyes.

And I don’t mind that, she said. Really. I accept that.

So how does jealousy come into play? I asked.

It’s just that . . . you know your posting about last Monday? Where you met Melissa, and Tevin came over, and she slept over?

Yes. You are jealous of Melissa?

Well, no, not really.

Tevin?

No, no. I guess I am jealous of the situation. I want to be someone you call for spontaneous things like that.

Oh!

And I want to spend the night together. It makes me sad that Melissa just had that, so easily. We have slept together, and it was really nice. I like seeing you at parties, or for lunch breaks, but . . . well, I think I would like more time when it is just us, and we have time together.

I’d like that, too. I mean, you know I don’t have so many nights to offer, what with the kids . . .

I know. I appreciate that. And I know you have friends and lovers come in from out of town sometimes, which means a sleepover. But I’d like for us to make time to make that happen.

How could I refuse so sweet a request? Yes, Mitzi, I said, let’s try to make that happen.

We kissed. We made love in my fresh sheets. We made a date for later in the week.

We parted feeling that we had resolved something.

Now comes the hard part: living up to that resolution.

I fret about things that can interfere with the best of intentions.

Keep in mind that Mitzi has her own life. She does not rest at my beck and call. She has friends, rehearsals, yoga, a dog to walk—she is not always waiting by the phone.

Still, she is single and lives alone, so her time is very much her own. Whereas I have kids, which means sleepover dates are not often possible.

Just to spell things out for you, gentle reader, let’s slice up a typical month to see how that pans out in terms of dating possibilities.

Take March. Thirty-one days hath March.

In March, I was destined to be a single parent for sixteen days. Dating was not possible on those days.

Because children were sick or on vacation, more than sixteen days were actually devoted to parenting. That’s just fate. But let’s stick with the numbers—let’s assume I was available for fifteen evenings this month.

Of those, I give three nights per month over to orgies: two for the biweekly gatherings of my friends, one for the monthly male orgy I co-host with Jimmy.

I am down to twelve free nights.

On any given month, I host family or friends for three to four days. This is New York City—someone is always coming to town.

Holidays turn my apartment into a bed and breakfast. I have no privacy and no sex. It’s better in March. Still, I assume that in addition to time with the kids, I will be hosting for a few days a month.

I am down to nine free nights.

What impressed me about last Monday was not just how hot it was to have such a fine threesome. What impressed me was that I was free to engage in that because I was not otherwise committed. It was spontaneous.

I related this experience to my pal Jake, a single man who keeps a very active dating and sex schedule. He related that he reserves one night a week, at least, as a cushion to just chill and do whatever he likes.

Maybe that night results in sex, maybe it results in reading, maybe it results in getting his bathroom clean. That is his night to do whatever.

Wow, I thought. I need that. A regular night to myself.

I can’t possibly afford one night a week to myself. So let me reserve half of that per month. Once every two weeks, that is my night.

This gets me down to about seven free nights a month. Seven potential sleepovers.

This assuming that the children and I aren’t sick, or I don’t travel for work, or a friend doesn’t have a dinner party, or . . .

Can I maintain good relationships with multiple partners with so few free nights per month to offer?

Mitzi is a great person I am just getting to know. We would like more time as we get to know one another. Can that happen at a pace that suits her, with sleepovers being few and far between?

Consider Anna, who had clamored for a sleepover for a month. We finally had one scheduled for that very night.

18 comments:

Jojo Haha said...

Hmmmm, you have great imagination and a lot of time on your hands to put it in writing.

Great novel this makes..

Belle said...

Sometimes I wonder how you do it. I don't have nearly as packed a schedule as yours, yet still I often feel frazzled and spent, pulled in too many directions at once and in need of "down time." You appear to be very adept at keeping all the aspects of your life in balance with one another, and that's not an easy thing to do... I really admire you for it!

Jefferson said...

Thanks for your comment, Jojo Haha.

I know how busy you are fighting the Powerpuff Girls, and so I appreciate that you took the time to read my blog.

My imagination does run on overdrive; would that I had more time to give over to it.

But if this blog found its way to your local book store, it would be filed under autobiography, not fiction.

Too many of my friends and sex partners are readers--Jefferson can not tell a lie!

Thanks to you, Bell. I appreciate your admiration, and your endorsement of "down time."

Come on over and let's take a nap.

Nadia said...

I guess jojo haha didn't read my comment on the post below that you had mistaken some facts from the sex party. Unless of course he thinks you write MY blog too.

Now there's an idea as the semester gets busier and busier... have you write my blog. Then again, I think even though I work full time, go to grad school, have a long distance romance that needs nuturing, and attend biweekly sex parties, you STILL have a busier schedule than I do.

Jefferson said...

Right you are, Nadia!

I had that though myself recently. I suppose it is conceivable that someone could fake a blog such as this one.

And if one when that far, why not fake a few comments to make it look good?

And while at it, why not fake some related blogs to support the fiction of the original blog?

But considering the frequency of the posts here, and at your blog, and those of Dacia, Jane, Madeline . . . to create so many would be too much work for one person.

Such an effort would require a team of writers, all intent on deceiving readers such as Jojo Haha.

And if you have a consortium of such like-minded people . . . of such cleverness . . . well then, heck!

Why not just actually have sex and write about that?

Belle said...

If you had any obnoxious, animated emoticons available in your comments, I would post the 'laughing out loud' one right now...

viviane212 said...

Uh...guest sex bloggers?

Anonymous said...

funny...and i didn't even actually sleep over at all
maybe next time...

- melissa

marcus said...

ok, time to be serious (for a minute).

i have to admit feelings of jealousy myself, when reading your blog. but in my case, jefferson, its not jealousy of your friends who are sexing with you, but rather, your lifestyle. see, sometimes i read your blog and i feel jealous that i'm not having that bisexual group scene thing.

now, let me say that other times i read your blog and i laugh out loud, or i have deep feelings of sadness for some of the stuff you write about, or i light-heartedly enjoy the general tone. so the jealousy thing is not a prevailing emotion. but sometimes, yes, it does crop up.

and here's the really fucked up part: you know that i am a sex worker. so obviously, i'm getting a lot of sex. i love that, its great to be so satiated in that arena, so the jealousy isnt about sex. and i also have been in regular group sex parties for men (in fact this year i started one here in DC, on a monthly basis). so its not a group thing i'm jealous about, per se. i think (in case you're still reading this, and still interested...) that for me, its the BI- GROUP thing in particular. i really love the scene that you've so well crafted in your little two bedroom apt on XXth street. there is something so hot about all those naked male and female bodies, sexing about, so casually, carefree, with fun and no attitude. mmmm, i really miss it; i gotta hit one of your parties again soon. so while i love reading your blog, i also must confess that sometimes i dont love reading your blog.

i wonder if other readers might share their own reactions to reading this? other than reactions like jojo haha's, i mean. would you consider extrapolating on this in one of your entries?

regardless, do keep it up, brother.
you kick ass.
and you fuck ass too. and pussy. and mouth.

which reminds me... did i tell you about my recent double fuck with my buddy john? he in me, i in him, AT THE SAME TIME. it wasnt fuckin' some ass.. it was fuckin' ass-some!

Jefferson said...

That's true Melissa. Our first date was not so much a sleepover as a crash over; you had cleared out by dawn.

Next time, it's the real deal--pajamas, toothbrushes and pillow fights.

Jefferson said...

Why Marcus, thank you for your extended comment.

I think I understand the very nuanced jealousy you describe. You aren't jealous that I am having sex, as you get more than your share.

You aren't jealous that people are having sex with me, because you get a fair share of that as well.

You aren't jealous of the group sex thing, as you have your new group.

You are jealous of . . . wait, now I am lost.

Perhaps you are like me: you can't stand the thought of people having sex without you.

As for your hijinks with John: I never cease to be amazed at what you accomplish with that cock of yours.

Madeline Glass said...
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
Madeline Glass said...

Doubly fucked? Can you show me with the dolls, please?

Anonymous said...
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
Belle said...

I think Marcus's comment was well-written. I'd be lying if I said I never get jealous when reading this blog. Jefferson, I hope you realize how unique and special what you have is (please excuse the terrible grammar; I blame it on the fact that it's after 2 AM). It's a great thing, and you are lucky, as are all of your friends.

Jefferson said...

Thank you Bell. Yes, our Marcus is one fine writer. If only I could convince him to start his own blog. The stories that boy could tell . . .

Please count yourself among my friends, Bell. I look forward to having you back to our parties.If only you were not two hours away.

Perhaps a generous reader will use PayPal to fund a return flight for you. I can promise you fine sex, and promise the generous reader a fine text!

And wouldn't that be fine?

Belle said...

That would be fine indeed! Great sex and then a great textual recap... why, that's a little slice of heaven. I'm already looking forward to the end of April. Now I just need to find that elusive generous reader who'll provide the funds for a mid-summer jaunt up there.

Oh and this is still me... I just changed my display name. But Bell or Belle, it's all the same.

Sweet Dew said...

Just stumbled upon your site ... in fact, just stumbled upon blogs in general this past couple of weeks. People live such fascinating lives! Mine pales in comparison! And to find someone who can tell such good stories with dialogue ... hard to do ... been writing a novel for awhile now, and find that to be the hardest part ... enjoyed your site!