Event

Last night’s Friends of Jefferson event was a great success. Thanks to everyone who attended and contributed. Thanks especially to those who donated items to the raffle—which included, my gosh, an original drawing by Nayland Blake!—and also to the hard-working Friends of Jefferson steering committee, which made it all happen.

A very nice chunk of change is now on its way to the legal defense fund administered by the Sexual Freedom Legal Defense and Education Fund.

I hear the event was a real hootenanny. I didn’t actually attend, as, I am happy to report, I had prior commitments. I prepared a statement that Lolita was good enough to read to those who attended. You can read it here—you just have to imagine my words spoken in Lolita’s gorgeous Queens accent.

Thanks to everyone for coming to tonight’s event. I’m sorry I can’t be there with you, but see, the thing is: I’m home with my children.

And that’s your doing! Thanks to your support of the legal fund established by the Sexual Freedom Legal Defense and Education Fund, I’ve been able to retain an extraordinary attorney, as well as a court-ordered law guardian for the children. Based on the law guardian’s observations, the judge ordered a return to joint custody as this case proceeds. This was a great step toward resolving the case with joint custody permanently restored.

However, there are still hurdles to be faced. The case is not resolved and could stretch out for months. While I’m unable to speak directly about the case, I can say that my ex filed in such a way as to make this as expensive a process as possible, counting on her great financial advantage over me.

She knew I didn’t have much money. What she didn’t anticipate is how many friends I have, or how supportive our communities can be. She certainly didn’t expect that I would find such a fine lawyer—which I did, thanks to the Kink Aware Professionals list maintained by the National Coalition for Sexual Freedom and available on their website.

Should I be successful in having the case dismissed or obtaining an order permanently reinstating joint custody, it will be a lesson to all that neither a person's sexuality nor his writing should adversely affect his suitability as a good and custodial parent. It is entirely possible to be a parent and "pervert."

Have fun tonight. Enjoy your Mister Gingers and the company of some of the finest perverts I know. And thanks!

You can help by making an ANONYMOUS, TAX-DEDUCTIBLE contribution to Jefferson's legal defense at

Sexual Freedom Legal Defense and Education Fund

Please remember to specify that your donation is earmarked for the Jefferson Legal Defense Fund. The Sexual Freedom Legal Defense and Education Fund affirms that these earmarked donations are tax deductible.

Event Tonight!

Join the Friends of Jefferson Tonight!
August 27, 7 p.m. to 10 p.m.
Happy Ending Lounge
302 Broome Street, NYC • B or D to Grand Street
J, M, Z to Bowery • F to Delancy

$20 suggested donation—but pay what you wish
Come and get your spank on at the Spanking Booth!

Enter to win:
GRAND PRIZE - original drawing by Nayland Blake
Babeland gift certificates
Books • DVDs
Venus Ropes Whip-and-Cane Bag Set and Rope
A Scene or Lesson with Boymeat
The Erotic Art of Spanking DVD w/ book by Lolita Wolf
Hitachi Magic Wand
Home Depot Pervertibles Kit
For Your Nyphomation Flogger Trunk
Edens Fantasys Gift basket
A Scene or Lesson with Lolita Wolf
Lubricious Lube
Two passes to the Sexies Awards
Two National Coalition for Sexual Freedom memberships
Two National Coalition for Sexual Freedom T-shirts
. . . and more!

Drink specials!
Mister Ginger (ginger infused vodka, ginger ale, and fresh lime juice) only $4 from 7-9pm. Pabst Blue Ribbon beer for just $3 and single liquor well drinks for just $7 all night long.

Jefferson's ex-wife has sued for full custody of his kids, because of his involvement with alternative sexual expression, despite an absence of any evidence that his sexuality adversely impacts his children, and despite an abundance of evidence that he is a conscientious and responsible father.

One hundred percent of door donations and raffle proceeds benefit the Friends of Jefferson Legal Defense Fund, which is administered by the
Sexual Freedom Legal Defense and Education Fund.

If you can't join us, please consider making an ANONYMOUS, TAX-DEDUCTIBLE contribution to Jefferson's legal defense at

Sexual Freedom Legal Defense and Education Fund

Please remember to specify that your donation is earmarked for the Jefferson Legal Defense Fund. The Sexual Freedom Legal Defense and Education Fund affirms that these earmarked donations are tax deductible.

Anita Wagner

Thanks to Anita Wagner—polyamory advocate, writer, spokesperson and educator—who writes of the broader implications of custody cases based on a parent's sexuality:

Jefferson is a bisexual man in New York City who is well known in the sex-positive, open relationship community. He is the father of three children of whom he shares custody with his ex-wife. Some time ago his ex came upon a no-longer-public blog he kept about his lifestyle activities. Despite the fact that he is an excellent father and in no way permits his children to come in contact with that aspect of his life, his ex-wife now seeks sole custody and a dramatically reduced visitation schedule based solely on his sexual orientation and form of sexual expression.

Jefferson wisely contacted Valerie White of the Sexual Freedom Legal Defense and Education Fund, and SFLDEF is accepting contributions on his behalf to fund this very costly child custody battle. I'd be surprised if his ex isn't also asking him to pay her attorneys’ fees on top of his own.

Jefferson also wisely contacted Leigha Fleming of the National Coalition for Sexual Freedom, who assists parents facing child custody challenges on a routine basis.

Please consider making a contribution to this man's legal fund by visiting the SFLDEF website. There is a link there where you can pay via Paypal—you will be able to designate your contribution to go to the Jefferson fund.

If you are in New York City, please consider attending the fundraiser being held for Jefferson tomorrow, Wednesday, August 27.

Child custody is by far the greatest legal problem facing people in open relationships. This could be a landmark case if Jefferson wins, so investing in Jefferson is a great investment for poly parents who may face similar challenges in the future.

National Coalition for Sexual Freedom

When I first learned that my ex had discovered my blog and filed for custody, I immediately contacted Leigha Fleming. A board member at the National Coalition for Sexual Freedom, Leigha gave me great advice and pointed me in some good directions. She was quick to point out that I wasn’t alone.

She recently wrote:

Organizations like the Sexual Freedom Legal Defense and Education Fund and the National Coalition for Sexual Freedom are really the only ones of their kind. And, they're the only ones who provide active and proactive support to people whose custody is challenged on the basis of their alternative sexual expression.

No matter what you think of a person in particular, people shouldn't lose access to their children based solely on consensual adult sexual expression. Being queer, being bi, being into SM doesn't make you a bad parent by default.

And, the only way to challenge those attitudes in the courts and in society in general is to support organizations like the Sexual Freedom Legal Defense and Education Fund and the National Coalition for Sexual Freedom. And, in particular, to support specific cases like Jefferson's when the opportunity arises.

The National Coalition for Sexual Freedom has donated some great items to be raffled at the Friends of Jefferson benefit on Wednesday. Thanks for all your help, NCSF!

Make an ANONYMOUS, TAX-DEDUCTIBLE contribution to Jefferson’s legal defense by visiting the Sexual Freedom Defense and Education Fund at:

Sexual Freedom Legal Defense and Education Fund

Please remember to specify that your donation is earmarked for the Jefferson Legal Defense Fund. The Sexual Freedom Legal Defense and Education Fund affirms that these earmarked donations are tax deductible.

Friends of Jefferson Event

Jefferson is offline today so we're passing on this message. See you on August 27!

FoJ

Join the Friends of Jefferson
on August 27, 7 p.m. to 10 p.m.
at
Happy Ending Lounge
302 Broome Street, NYC • B or D to Grand Street
J, M, Z to Bowery • F to Delancy
$20 suggested donation—but pay what you wish

Come and get your spank on at the Spanking Booth! Enter to win:

Babeland gift certificates • Books • Venus Ropes Whip-and-Cane Bag Set and Rope • A Scene or Lesson with Boymeat • The Erotic Art of Spanking DVD w/ book, by Lolita Wolf • Hitachi Magic Wand • Home Depot Pervertables Kit • DVDs • For Your Nyphomation Flogger Trunk • A Scene or Lesson with Lolita Wolf • and more!

100 percent of door donations and raffle proceeds benefit the Friends of Jefferson Legal Defense Fund, which is administered by the Sexual Freedom Legal Defense and Education Fund

Technorati Tags: bloggers, events, nyc, sexblogs

Update

Thanks, everyone, for the supportive notes. I’m behind on email, but I’ll try to get back to each of you in time.

Thanks also for your support of the legal defense fund created by the Sexual Freedom Legal Defense and Education Fund. This week, that support helped us to retain a court-ordered legal guardian for the children. We may yet have a long way to go in this process, so thank you for your continued support.

My apologies to the legitimate journalists who have expressed interest in this case. While it is underway, I can only refer you to my attorney, who has her finger on the “no comment” trigger. Fortunately, you appreciate the situation, given the injunction of the code of journalistic ethics to “use special sensitivity when dealing with children.” Further:

Recognize that gathering and reporting information may cause harm or discomfort. Pursuit of the news is not a license for arrogance.

Only an overriding public need can justify intrusion into anyone’s privacy.

Show good taste. Avoid pandering to lurid curiosity.

Ethics matter, and good journalists appreciate that.

That said, I am taking this opportunity to announce that rumors are true. I am indeed dating Christie Brinkley. More to come on that as well.


Technorati Tags: custody, divorce, parenting, christie+brinkley, Sexual Freedom Legal Defense and Education Fund

Save the Date

Thanks to those who have supported this sudden and expensive custody case with your contribution to the legal defense fund established by the Sexual Freedom Legal Defense and Education Fund.

After careful review of the filings, the legal experts at SFLDEF have determined:

His ex-wife has asked for a modification (of custody) because of his involvement with alternative sexual expression, despite an absence of any evidence that his sexuality adversely impacts his children, and despite an abundance of evidence that he is a conscientious and responsible father.

Thanks also to those who are helping to spread news about this legal fund. I appreciate your discretion in allowing the case to proceed without speculation or fanfare.

Save the date for August twenty-seven!


Technorati Tags: custody, divorce, parenting, Sexual Freedom Legal Defense and Education Fund

Custody

Miss me?

Thanks to everyone who has written to express concern about the sudden disappearance of One Life, Take Two. Unfortunately, this blog was discovered by my ex-wife Lucy, and, as predicted, she has filed for full custody of our children. We’re in the midst of sorting this out in the courts and, as you might guess, my sexuality and blog are the basis of her legal complaint.

Thankfully, there is community support for parents in this situation. The National Coalition for Sexual Freedom and Lambda Legal have been very helpful, and the Sexual Freedom Legal Defense and Education Fund has established a legal defense fund dedicated to this case. This fund is critical, as Lucy and her family are relying on their great financial advantage. (Marrying rich? Awesome! Divorcing the rich? Not so much.) While there is every reason to be optimistic about a favorable outcome, it is imperative to have funds in order to achieve that goal.

To that end, an ad-hoc committee has been formed. The Friends of Jefferson will organize fundraising appeals and issue statements as the case goes forward. These statements are approved by my legal eagles.

Donations to the legal fund are tax deductible. The fund is administered by the Sexual Freedom Legal Defense and Education Fund, and every cent goes to support the legal effort. However, you must specify that your donation is earmarked for the Jefferson Legal Defense Fund.

I would very much appreciate your help in getting the word out about the legal defense fund. Please feel free to distribute the Friends of Jefferson logo and appeals. However, I ask that you otherwise refrain from discussing this case and my blog. I know that for some, gossiping about Jefferson is popular pastime, and this is juicy blog fodder. But for now, please keep in mind: this is about three children.

Once the dust settles, everyone can go back to stalking my sex life and discussing the complex issues around this case. But while this case is before the court, know that your every blog post, comment and tweet is essentially an email to opposing counsel. Your opinion is your own, but it can interfere with the one that matters most, and that is the opinion of the State of New York. Please allow the court the time to decide this matter.

One Life, Take Two will include the appeals and updates of the Friends of Jefferson Committee. You can reach the FoJ at friendsofjefferson@gmail.com.

Jefferson



An important member of the sex-positive community urgently needs our help.

Jefferson—blogger, educator, and dear friend to so many of us—is at this moment fighting a court battle with his ex-wife, who is seeking full custody of their three children.

Jefferson’s love for his children has been well-documented on his blog One Life, Take Two for years. His ex-wife has stated in court that he is a “great” father who loves his children.

However, among her claims is that his bisexuality makes him an unfit parent.

Jefferson needs our help now. As a writer, his resources are limited. The costs of fighting this case are mounting quickly—and will certainly run into the tens of thousands of dollars.

As of today, there is an urgent and immediate need for at least $20,000 to cover costs associated with attorney fees and those of the law guardian who has been appointed to represent the children.

If he is unable to pay these fees by August 11, he will be forced to relinquish custody of his children.

This case is of concern to anyone whose sexuality does not fit the standard mold—because it could happen to you. This case is of concern to all writers, because Jefferson’s blog is being used as evidence against him—and that could have repercussions for our First Amendment rights.

Here’s how to help:

Make an ANONYMOUS, TAX-DEDUCTIBLE contribution to Jefferson’s legal defense by visiting the Sexual Freedom Defense and Education Fund at:

Sexual Freedom Legal Defense and Education Fund

There you will find out how to donate to Jefferson’s Defense Fund via PayPal or if you prefer, check or money order.

Please note that you MUST mention that your donation be used for the JEFFERSON LEGAL DEFENSE FUND.

One Life, Take Two has been relaunched with information about Jefferson’s ongoing case. Be sure to visit his blog for updates. In the meantime, you can contact Friends of Jefferson directly at friendsofjefferson@gmail.com.

Feel free to copy this and post it to your blog or any email lists Or link back to this post. More graphics may be found here.

Technorati Tags: custody, divorce, parenting, Sexual Freedom Legal Defense and Education Fund

HNT

Back from vacation, missing Southern breezes, contenting myself with my city ceiling fan.

Abby Winters

Kirra and Naomi E.

Fleshbot and Summer Vacation

This week’s Sex Blog Roundup at Fleshbot gets it up for cock. Reading these stories, you realize that dick is not always a simple animal.

Those of you who enjoy stalking me will find me imitated, inspirational and frustrating.

Sakura and I enjoy being girls on a date that soon has our feet in the air.

Janie and I want to share a submissive boy. Candidates may apply to either blog.

Lynsey wakes up with a hangover and fewer cherries than when I last left her side.

Eden looks up from her sidewalk whipping post to smile at me.

Mariella polishes off her first knob polishing. I’m more of a blowjob man myself, so I brought in an extra cock for the occasion.

Bridget keeps it real.

Adam gives me a blowjob, or rather, he sends one my way. It was interrupted and remains unfinished, come to think of it, with a raincheck pending.

Reversing earlier denials, Avah comes clean to admit that she anonymously harassed another woman for over six months, and regrets that this adversely affected our relationship. She chalks it up to her youth, and there may be something to that—though I’ve seen people twice her age acting out no less viciously, with no more cause. I’m chalking it up to the consequences of living one’s intimate life in so public a forum as blogging. It’s just too easy to gain momentary satisfaction by venting anxieties better addressed in private, and neglecting how such actions may harm real people.

Not to dangle meat over the sharks who stalk, but that’s pretty much all you’ll read about it here. There’ll be no brutal tit-for-tat, no excruciating he-said-she-said, as our relationship is dissected for your entertainment. This may disappoint the hens who use my life and blog for gossip, as well as the bottom feeders who troll my life and blog for sex partners. Over on this side of the screen, there are two real people who blog as Avah and Jefferson. They care about each other, and they want to take care of that offline.

But for now, they are each on vacation. Avah is off on a long-anticipated month in France. I’m down south for my annual visit with family, collecting freckles and reminding my folks what their Yankee grandchildren look like.

Today my father asked, “Now, what are you going to do down here for all this time, with no women anywhere around?”

“You’ll never manage,” my brother agreed.

“Frankly,” I said, “I can use the vacation from that.”

My father laughed. My brother said, “Tell me all about it. I want to live vicariously through you.” He doesn’t know about this blog, of course, so I didn’t add that I think I’ll also enjoy the vacation from being vicariously lived through. For now, I’ll just live, and enjoy a fresh breath away from drama.

If life cooperates.

By the end of my first day back home, I’ve learned the following.

My mother’s empty nest has been filled with Maltese dogs. Nine of them.

My seventeen-year-old nephew is planning a shotgun wedding with the eighteen-year-old girlfriend he knocked up. He also wants to adopt her first baby by another man—boy?—even as he seeks visitation rights with the son he had last year with his sixteen-year-old ex-girlfriend.

My daughter, the teenage bride, hasn’t spoken with her husband in two months.

Already, New York is looking much more relaxing.

Training of O

The Training of O

HNT

In search of beer, Meg and I wandered Folsom Street East until we found ourselves in venerable gay leather redoubt The Eagle. We drank Stellas on the roof, where she snapped this picture of my foot being inserted into men.

Blake Mason

Dean and Will

Fleshbot and Pride Weekend

This week’s Sex Blog Roundup at Fleshbot gleams with the sweat of summer lovers, those flings and obsessions who may or may not be kicking your leaves come autumn.

My colleague Jonno at Fleshbot added his own contribution with the trailer to the soft-core treat Summer Lovers. When this film came out, I had just graduated high school and worked as an usher in a movie theater. I quickly timed all the right moments to pop in for views of Peter Gallagher, Daryl Hannah and Valérie Quennessen sunning naked and “making love” (a once-popular phrase for sex). This pop-culture primer on polyamory taught me that triads are peachy so long as everyone is gorgeous and at least one partner is French.

Those of you who enjoy stalking me will find me listed and bruising.

Mariella takes markers to mirror to document her first hickey.

Jocasta surveys a busy month and inventories me among things recently done.

If you prefer stalking me in the flesh, you’re in luck, as this is a busy weekend for New York City perverts. Today finds me at Coney Island for the Mermaid Parade, ever a supporter of the public display of naked painted breasts. Tonight, I’m volunteering at Leather Pride Night, moving among the bears and daddys, looking like a vegan at a luau. Tomorrow finds me at Folsom Street East.

Planning ahead, you can stalk me in August at Floating World, where I am teaching three classes, described below. I am recruiting female and male volunteers to bite or be bitten and/or to be poked in public. I don’t require demo bottoms for the class on male bisexuality, but if you are a bisexualish bottom, hell, it can’t hurt to drop a line.

Well, it might hurt a little.

Jefferson’s Floating World Classes

G-Spot and P-Spot, Thrills and Spills
Some deny its existence. Others swear by it. In recent years, the female G Spot has ignited storms of controversy-even as it has been stimulated to countless orgasms. Stimulating the P Spot, or prostate, can bring many men to extreme arousal. This hands-on (or rather, hands-in) session cuts past the verbiage to get down to business. Learn how to locate your own spot and that of your partner, as well as techniques to make the most of this erogenous zone. Please note that this session will include nudity and sexual activity, as well as opportunities for audience participation.

Odd Man In: Male Bisexuality on the Scene
In the sexually open scenes that overlap within the Floating World community, there remain conflicting and contradictory attitudes concerning male bisexuality, as a form of self-identification and in sexual practice. These attitudes particularly affect anyone who identifies as male, or is in a relationship with someone who identifies as male. This open and frank session addresses prevalent notions and offers strategies to bring male bisexuality into play, within scenes, within relationships, and within personal lives. The session draws on academic studies, personal experience and world travel. This workshop is open to all.

Chewtoy: Erotic Biting
If a nibble on the neck sends shivers down your spine, you’re already aware of the sensuous appeal of being bitten. Likewise, if kissing leads you to nip and tug on your lover’s lips, you may be ready to unleash your inner gnasher. Erotic biting brings a primal urge into play that can be directed to a variety of controlled sensations, and even into decorative temporary body modifications through determined marks and bruises. Learn how to safely and effective bite and/or be bitten and discuss how erotic biting can be applied to your favorite activities.

Sex and Submission

Lorelei

Fleshbot and Father's Day

This week’s Sex Blog Roundup at Fleshbot chases the superstitions from a Friday the thirteenth weekend by dropping in on those who get lucky. Apparently all it takes is planning, perseverance and, well, luck.

Those of you who enjoy stalking me will find me sharing and being shared, as you do.

The deflowering of Mariella continues with her first public display of affection and her first threesome with the first woman she ever touched, kissed, tasted, and all those fine ways one says howdy to a new friend.

If Janie has anything to say about it, this is the launch of a mutual admiration society—and to think it all began with the passing of notes and cock.

I’m enjoying a fine Father’s Day weekend with the kids. Today we are all hungover from a day at Six Flags with Bridget. She organized the day–long outing and proposed that we attack the park in two groups: she would mind Collie and Lillie, leaving Jason and me to focus on the roller coasters. We would regroup for lunch and rides we could all enjoy together.

Now, as a single dad, I really appreciated the genius of her plan. Without Bridget, the alternative plan might have been to allow Jason to bring a friend so that he could ride the coasters. We would’ve parted company in the morning and regrouped when the park closed. That’s what solo parents do as their kids grow up.

Instead, we big boys were set loose on the park. Jason determined that we should not only ride the coasters, but also ride them in the front seat. This gave us the shared experience of screaming in terror repeatedly, and hours of talking as we stood in lines. Time with a child is my kind of Father’s Day gift.

Even if I wonder what one does when a dreamy teenager jokes about his mother’s pot smoking.

Bridget also had her share of spills and chills with “our” kids.

I’d tell you more now, but Father’s Day calls for a special brunch. And since the kids are calling for food, I’m off to the kitchen.

Abby Winters

Isla

Fleshbot and Hydrants

This week’s Sex Blog Roundup at Fleshbot goes calling on committed couples, finding that for some, company is always welcome.

Those of you who enjoy stalking me will find my parts left to those in need,. The aged and lurid Lynsey gets dibs. Her blog is now open by invitation only; you can request access at sticksy@mac.com. Tell her an organ donor sent you.

Mariella is introduced to her second cock and finds that while she may be a neophyte, she’s already a marathon runner.

It’s ninety-four degrees in New York today. Firefighters have opened the hydrant at the corner, and children are stripped to their underwear to play in the stream. Salsa music wafts through my open window, where I sit, naked and waiting for breezes.

Sometimes, New York is so much like itself.

Training of O

Maya Mathews