Friday, November 28, 2008


Today marks my fourth blogoversary.

One Life, Take Two began as stories I wrote to amuse my drinking buddy Audacia, relating how curious sex and dating seemed after the demise of my long marriage, particularly as a single father to three young children. After a year of finding my love life in her inbox, Audacia persuaded me to start blogging. I didn’t know what blogs were, really, so she sat me down at my computer, and we turned my emails into the first entries on this blog.

At first, I wrote into a void, not sure that anyone would read what I posted. Then, very quickly, I had a readership that grew exponentially as I continued publishing. Writing had the unforeseen consequence of introducing me to new friends and—to my astonishment—lovers; many would subsequently start blogs of their own. I made introductions among the new people in my life and helped to foster more friendships. Now and then, I rediscovered romance and love. Now and then, I endured blog dramas as jealous lovers stalked one another online and other bloggers initiated puerile rivalries.

I learned along the way that that this was all part and parcel of a niche demimonde that revised Andy Warhol’s aphorism—in the future we inherited, everyone is famous to fifteen people.

For the past few years, I’ve marked my blogoversary by republishing my first post. Reading it now, I am struck by the wonder and excitement I felt in spending a weekend with a woman who seemed, incredibly, to feel passionate about being with me. A year and a half out my marriage, I was still surprised that anyone would find me desirable. I was no less surprised to find that readers connected to my efforts to put the revelations of this new life into words.

This year, I’m not republishing my initial post. Sex is off my blog for now, as I am dragged back into my marriage as my ex pursues her second bid to gain full custody of our children. She was resigned to joint custody after our divorce. Years later, armed with her discovery of my blog, she seeks to prove that my sexuality makes me an unfit parent.

Per the judge’s order, we have now entered into a phase in which each member of our family, including the children, must undergo a psychiatric evaluation.

The end is not yet in sight. I’ve been told to expect the case to continue until at least April, perhaps until summer, by which time it will have been underway for a year.

There is good news to report. The judge’s order directed that the costs of the psychiatric evaluation be borne by the city and state, not by my family. Further, the evaluations will not require as many sessions as was originally predicted. This relieves great burdens in the expense of time and money, meaning that I will not be seeking support for the evaluations in my legal defense fund.

However, your support is still needed to cover legal fees for my attorney and the children’s law guardian. Thanks so much for your continued interest and generosity. Again, if you have questions or comments about the case, feel free to email me. I can’t promise that I’ll be able to answer all inquiries, but I’ll be glad to answer those I can.

Make an ANONYMOUS, TAX-DEDUCTIBLE contribution to Jefferson’s legal defense by visiting the Sexual Freedom Defense and Education Fund at:

Sexual Freedom Legal Defense and Education Fund

Please remember to specify that your donation is earmarked for the Jefferson Legal Defense Fund. The Sexual Freedom Legal Defense and Education Fund affirms that these earmarked donations are tax deductible.