This week’s Sex Blog Roundup at Fleshbot clears away the stench of scotch and cigars to listen in on the men who blog sex. Men are the woeful minority in this genre, particularly our straight brothers—though, to be fair, who the fuck is straight these days? Didn’t gender exclusivity go out with Farrah Fawcett wings and the dry look?
(Thanks to A Bad Man in a Bad Place for inspiring the theme.)
Those of you who enjoy stalking me will find me inspiring threesomes, dreams and helpful sticks. Along the way, I get laid now and then.
It was a year ago this month that Lily recommended me to her friend Wendy for some post-break up sex. (Lily’s motto: after a break up, get laid fast and frequently. Worked for me, too.) Wendy celebrates by organizing her very own threesome with two hot bi boys. My goodness, they grow up so fast.
Jocasta goes long on the blowjobs and gets a long-distance run of her own. If that’s not enough, she offers a picture to please cleavage divers and all fans of pasty white thighs.
Thankfully, Lynsey appreciates my advice. In fact she sees me as a kind of helpline for the newly perverse. Ring, ring! And keep on fuckin’.
This weekend’s Guest DJ on the Smut Turntable is Meg. Meg! The teacher and slut you love whose blog went quiet a while back. You want the latest? Tune into the Smut Turntable, bitches, and follow the bouncing balls.
File under “you meet the most interesting people.” Among my new correspondents is a fellow who runs a sex cam site called Cam2Sex. It’s a good portal for looking at sex online, so pay a visit. He also keeps a sex blog in which he gets together with prostitutes and his inflatable girlfriend, Suzy. Now, he’s looking for a sex cam girl in New York. Seems he wants to hire her to fuck me as he watches online. Just when you think you’ve done it all . . .
Speaking of correspondents, thanks to all the new readers who are writing to me. I do try to respond to each note, and I apologize if my replies are brief—my inbox is jumping quite a bit this week. May I make a few requests?
Please tell me about yourself, and let me know what specifically interests you. Here are some insights to let you know about me.
If you’re dating, I can offer advice, but be forewarned that I've never actually dated in my life. In high school and college, I fucked my friends, male and female. Then I was married and monogamous for-fucking-ever. Now, I host orgies and write a sex blog, each of which leads people my way. I’ve never worried about things like first dates, bar pickups or getting lucky. Still, I’m glad to do what I can to make that love connection for you.
You want to talk about relationships? Meet the master. What my Dad didn’t teach me, I learned along the way. I’ll keep saying the same thing: listen, be nice, tell the truth and cook well. And by the way, your partner’s orgasm is more important than your own.
If you’re a straight boy looking to get laid, there may not be much I can do for you. I’m not a girl and I’m not a pimp. That said, go ahead and tell me what you have in mind. I really, truly reject the prevailing notion that “single men” are not to be taken seriously. In my sex positive worldview, you rock.
If you’re a woman looking for adventure . . . hang on one second, let me brush the crumbs from my bed . . . okay. Basically, the more you want to try, the more I’m going to offer. I’m a kickass rocking lot of fun. But never in the time that you know me will I veer from these basics: I’m nonmonogamous, I’m bisexual, and I don’t want a stepmother for my children.
Bi-curious and bisexual males and females, you are my brethren. Girls, get ready. Boys, it would be really considerate if you proved capable of a second date.
If you want kink, orgies, poly, BDSM or anything else . . . well, catch my ear. Whisper your fantasies, shout your desires or maybe I can tease them out of you. But I can’t do anything until you try to be honest.
Finally, that’s it. Feed my fetish for honesty. Tell me your truth, read mine, and maybe we can make things happen.