Event

Last night’s Friends of Jefferson event was a great success. Thanks to everyone who attended and contributed. Thanks especially to those who donated items to the raffle—which included, my gosh, an original drawing by Nayland Blake!—and also to the hard-working Friends of Jefferson steering committee, which made it all happen.

A very nice chunk of change is now on its way to the legal defense fund administered by the Sexual Freedom Legal Defense and Education Fund.

I hear the event was a real hootenanny. I didn’t actually attend, as, I am happy to report, I had prior commitments. I prepared a statement that Lolita was good enough to read to those who attended. You can read it here—you just have to imagine my words spoken in Lolita’s gorgeous Queens accent.

Thanks to everyone for coming to tonight’s event. I’m sorry I can’t be there with you, but see, the thing is: I’m home with my children.

And that’s your doing! Thanks to your support of the legal fund established by the Sexual Freedom Legal Defense and Education Fund, I’ve been able to retain an extraordinary attorney, as well as a court-ordered law guardian for the children. Based on the law guardian’s observations, the judge ordered a return to joint custody as this case proceeds. This was a great step toward resolving the case with joint custody permanently restored.

However, there are still hurdles to be faced. The case is not resolved and could stretch out for months. While I’m unable to speak directly about the case, I can say that my ex filed in such a way as to make this as expensive a process as possible, counting on her great financial advantage over me.

She knew I didn’t have much money. What she didn’t anticipate is how many friends I have, or how supportive our communities can be. She certainly didn’t expect that I would find such a fine lawyer—which I did, thanks to the Kink Aware Professionals list maintained by the National Coalition for Sexual Freedom and available on their website.

Should I be successful in having the case dismissed or obtaining an order permanently reinstating joint custody, it will be a lesson to all that neither a person's sexuality nor his writing should adversely affect his suitability as a good and custodial parent. It is entirely possible to be a parent and "pervert."

Have fun tonight. Enjoy your Mister Gingers and the company of some of the finest perverts I know. And thanks!

You can help by making an ANONYMOUS, TAX-DEDUCTIBLE contribution to Jefferson's legal defense at

Sexual Freedom Legal Defense and Education Fund

Please remember to specify that your donation is earmarked for the Jefferson Legal Defense Fund. The Sexual Freedom Legal Defense and Education Fund affirms that these earmarked donations are tax deductible.

Event Tonight!

Join the Friends of Jefferson Tonight!
August 27, 7 p.m. to 10 p.m.
Happy Ending Lounge
302 Broome Street, NYC • B or D to Grand Street
J, M, Z to Bowery • F to Delancy

$20 suggested donation—but pay what you wish
Come and get your spank on at the Spanking Booth!

Enter to win:
GRAND PRIZE - original drawing by Nayland Blake
Babeland gift certificates
Books • DVDs
Venus Ropes Whip-and-Cane Bag Set and Rope
A Scene or Lesson with Boymeat
The Erotic Art of Spanking DVD w/ book by Lolita Wolf
Hitachi Magic Wand
Home Depot Pervertibles Kit
For Your Nyphomation Flogger Trunk
Edens Fantasys Gift basket
A Scene or Lesson with Lolita Wolf
Lubricious Lube
Two passes to the Sexies Awards
Two National Coalition for Sexual Freedom memberships
Two National Coalition for Sexual Freedom T-shirts
. . . and more!

Drink specials!
Mister Ginger (ginger infused vodka, ginger ale, and fresh lime juice) only $4 from 7-9pm. Pabst Blue Ribbon beer for just $3 and single liquor well drinks for just $7 all night long.

Jefferson's ex-wife has sued for full custody of his kids, because of his involvement with alternative sexual expression, despite an absence of any evidence that his sexuality adversely impacts his children, and despite an abundance of evidence that he is a conscientious and responsible father.

One hundred percent of door donations and raffle proceeds benefit the Friends of Jefferson Legal Defense Fund, which is administered by the
Sexual Freedom Legal Defense and Education Fund.

If you can't join us, please consider making an ANONYMOUS, TAX-DEDUCTIBLE contribution to Jefferson's legal defense at

Sexual Freedom Legal Defense and Education Fund

Please remember to specify that your donation is earmarked for the Jefferson Legal Defense Fund. The Sexual Freedom Legal Defense and Education Fund affirms that these earmarked donations are tax deductible.

Anita Wagner

Thanks to Anita Wagner—polyamory advocate, writer, spokesperson and educator—who writes of the broader implications of custody cases based on a parent's sexuality:

Jefferson is a bisexual man in New York City who is well known in the sex-positive, open relationship community. He is the father of three children of whom he shares custody with his ex-wife. Some time ago his ex came upon a no-longer-public blog he kept about his lifestyle activities. Despite the fact that he is an excellent father and in no way permits his children to come in contact with that aspect of his life, his ex-wife now seeks sole custody and a dramatically reduced visitation schedule based solely on his sexual orientation and form of sexual expression.

Jefferson wisely contacted Valerie White of the Sexual Freedom Legal Defense and Education Fund, and SFLDEF is accepting contributions on his behalf to fund this very costly child custody battle. I'd be surprised if his ex isn't also asking him to pay her attorneys’ fees on top of his own.

Jefferson also wisely contacted Leigha Fleming of the National Coalition for Sexual Freedom, who assists parents facing child custody challenges on a routine basis.

Please consider making a contribution to this man's legal fund by visiting the SFLDEF website. There is a link there where you can pay via Paypal—you will be able to designate your contribution to go to the Jefferson fund.

If you are in New York City, please consider attending the fundraiser being held for Jefferson tomorrow, Wednesday, August 27.

Child custody is by far the greatest legal problem facing people in open relationships. This could be a landmark case if Jefferson wins, so investing in Jefferson is a great investment for poly parents who may face similar challenges in the future.

National Coalition for Sexual Freedom

When I first learned that my ex had discovered my blog and filed for custody, I immediately contacted Leigha Fleming. A board member at the National Coalition for Sexual Freedom, Leigha gave me great advice and pointed me in some good directions. She was quick to point out that I wasn’t alone.

She recently wrote:

Organizations like the Sexual Freedom Legal Defense and Education Fund and the National Coalition for Sexual Freedom are really the only ones of their kind. And, they're the only ones who provide active and proactive support to people whose custody is challenged on the basis of their alternative sexual expression.

No matter what you think of a person in particular, people shouldn't lose access to their children based solely on consensual adult sexual expression. Being queer, being bi, being into SM doesn't make you a bad parent by default.

And, the only way to challenge those attitudes in the courts and in society in general is to support organizations like the Sexual Freedom Legal Defense and Education Fund and the National Coalition for Sexual Freedom. And, in particular, to support specific cases like Jefferson's when the opportunity arises.

The National Coalition for Sexual Freedom has donated some great items to be raffled at the Friends of Jefferson benefit on Wednesday. Thanks for all your help, NCSF!

Make an ANONYMOUS, TAX-DEDUCTIBLE contribution to Jefferson’s legal defense by visiting the Sexual Freedom Defense and Education Fund at:

Sexual Freedom Legal Defense and Education Fund

Please remember to specify that your donation is earmarked for the Jefferson Legal Defense Fund. The Sexual Freedom Legal Defense and Education Fund affirms that these earmarked donations are tax deductible.

Friends of Jefferson Event

Jefferson is offline today so we're passing on this message. See you on August 27!

FoJ

Join the Friends of Jefferson
on August 27, 7 p.m. to 10 p.m.
at
Happy Ending Lounge
302 Broome Street, NYC • B or D to Grand Street
J, M, Z to Bowery • F to Delancy
$20 suggested donation—but pay what you wish

Come and get your spank on at the Spanking Booth! Enter to win:

Babeland gift certificates • Books • Venus Ropes Whip-and-Cane Bag Set and Rope • A Scene or Lesson with Boymeat • The Erotic Art of Spanking DVD w/ book, by Lolita Wolf • Hitachi Magic Wand • Home Depot Pervertables Kit • DVDs • For Your Nyphomation Flogger Trunk • A Scene or Lesson with Lolita Wolf • and more!

100 percent of door donations and raffle proceeds benefit the Friends of Jefferson Legal Defense Fund, which is administered by the Sexual Freedom Legal Defense and Education Fund

Technorati Tags: bloggers, events, nyc, sexblogs

Update

Thanks, everyone, for the supportive notes. I’m behind on email, but I’ll try to get back to each of you in time.

Thanks also for your support of the legal defense fund created by the Sexual Freedom Legal Defense and Education Fund. This week, that support helped us to retain a court-ordered legal guardian for the children. We may yet have a long way to go in this process, so thank you for your continued support.

My apologies to the legitimate journalists who have expressed interest in this case. While it is underway, I can only refer you to my attorney, who has her finger on the “no comment” trigger. Fortunately, you appreciate the situation, given the injunction of the code of journalistic ethics to “use special sensitivity when dealing with children.” Further:

Recognize that gathering and reporting information may cause harm or discomfort. Pursuit of the news is not a license for arrogance.

Only an overriding public need can justify intrusion into anyone’s privacy.

Show good taste. Avoid pandering to lurid curiosity.

Ethics matter, and good journalists appreciate that.

That said, I am taking this opportunity to announce that rumors are true. I am indeed dating Christie Brinkley. More to come on that as well.


Technorati Tags: custody, divorce, parenting, christie+brinkley, Sexual Freedom Legal Defense and Education Fund

Save the Date

Thanks to those who have supported this sudden and expensive custody case with your contribution to the legal defense fund established by the Sexual Freedom Legal Defense and Education Fund.

After careful review of the filings, the legal experts at SFLDEF have determined:

His ex-wife has asked for a modification (of custody) because of his involvement with alternative sexual expression, despite an absence of any evidence that his sexuality adversely impacts his children, and despite an abundance of evidence that he is a conscientious and responsible father.

Thanks also to those who are helping to spread news about this legal fund. I appreciate your discretion in allowing the case to proceed without speculation or fanfare.

Save the date for August twenty-seven!


Technorati Tags: custody, divorce, parenting, Sexual Freedom Legal Defense and Education Fund

Custody

Miss me?

Thanks to everyone who has written to express concern about the sudden disappearance of One Life, Take Two. Unfortunately, this blog was discovered by my ex-wife Lucy, and, as predicted, she has filed for full custody of our children. We’re in the midst of sorting this out in the courts and, as you might guess, my sexuality and blog are the basis of her legal complaint.

Thankfully, there is community support for parents in this situation. The National Coalition for Sexual Freedom and Lambda Legal have been very helpful, and the Sexual Freedom Legal Defense and Education Fund has established a legal defense fund dedicated to this case. This fund is critical, as Lucy and her family are relying on their great financial advantage. (Marrying rich? Awesome! Divorcing the rich? Not so much.) While there is every reason to be optimistic about a favorable outcome, it is imperative to have funds in order to achieve that goal.

To that end, an ad-hoc committee has been formed. The Friends of Jefferson will organize fundraising appeals and issue statements as the case goes forward. These statements are approved by my legal eagles.

Donations to the legal fund are tax deductible. The fund is administered by the Sexual Freedom Legal Defense and Education Fund, and every cent goes to support the legal effort. However, you must specify that your donation is earmarked for the Jefferson Legal Defense Fund.

I would very much appreciate your help in getting the word out about the legal defense fund. Please feel free to distribute the Friends of Jefferson logo and appeals. However, I ask that you otherwise refrain from discussing this case and my blog. I know that for some, gossiping about Jefferson is popular pastime, and this is juicy blog fodder. But for now, please keep in mind: this is about three children.

Once the dust settles, everyone can go back to stalking my sex life and discussing the complex issues around this case. But while this case is before the court, know that your every blog post, comment and tweet is essentially an email to opposing counsel. Your opinion is your own, but it can interfere with the one that matters most, and that is the opinion of the State of New York. Please allow the court the time to decide this matter.

One Life, Take Two will include the appeals and updates of the Friends of Jefferson Committee. You can reach the FoJ at friendsofjefferson@gmail.com.

Jefferson



An important member of the sex-positive community urgently needs our help.

Jefferson—blogger, educator, and dear friend to so many of us—is at this moment fighting a court battle with his ex-wife, who is seeking full custody of their three children.

Jefferson’s love for his children has been well-documented on his blog One Life, Take Two for years. His ex-wife has stated in court that he is a “great” father who loves his children.

However, among her claims is that his bisexuality makes him an unfit parent.

Jefferson needs our help now. As a writer, his resources are limited. The costs of fighting this case are mounting quickly—and will certainly run into the tens of thousands of dollars.

As of today, there is an urgent and immediate need for at least $20,000 to cover costs associated with attorney fees and those of the law guardian who has been appointed to represent the children.

If he is unable to pay these fees by August 11, he will be forced to relinquish custody of his children.

This case is of concern to anyone whose sexuality does not fit the standard mold—because it could happen to you. This case is of concern to all writers, because Jefferson’s blog is being used as evidence against him—and that could have repercussions for our First Amendment rights.

Here’s how to help:

Make an ANONYMOUS, TAX-DEDUCTIBLE contribution to Jefferson’s legal defense by visiting the Sexual Freedom Defense and Education Fund at:

Sexual Freedom Legal Defense and Education Fund

There you will find out how to donate to Jefferson’s Defense Fund via PayPal or if you prefer, check or money order.

Please note that you MUST mention that your donation be used for the JEFFERSON LEGAL DEFENSE FUND.

One Life, Take Two has been relaunched with information about Jefferson’s ongoing case. Be sure to visit his blog for updates. In the meantime, you can contact Friends of Jefferson directly at friendsofjefferson@gmail.com.

Feel free to copy this and post it to your blog or any email lists Or link back to this post. More graphics may be found here.

Technorati Tags: custody, divorce, parenting, Sexual Freedom Legal Defense and Education Fund