Friday, June 22, 2007

Fleshbot and Grooms

This week’s Sex Blog Roundup at Fleshbot gives up a chance to kiss the bride in order to pay special attention to the groom. Wedding bells are ringing this month, and last time I checked, there were two figurines on the wedding cake. Let’s find out what happens as the bachelor party recedes into memory.

Those of you who enjoy stalking me will find Lily contemplating the curiosity of watching amateur porn alongside the people who made it, not long before she finally has sex at orgy—unbeknownst to her, I’m watching, bourbon in hand. Somewhere along the line, she has the pleasure of conversing with my friend, the ever-charming Brooklyn Rake.

An orgy or two later, you’ll find Wendy on her knees and earning her stripes as an expert sword swallower. She puts aside swords for garden tools when she attracts the attention of none other than Brooklyn Rake.

I wish I had a reason to send stalkers to visit Cody, but in truth, I’m not involved in her most recent post. Sure, I introduced her to the fellow who introduced her to her . . . subject, but so far as I’m concerned, that’s as far as it goes.

I would also enjoy an excuse to send you to visit the aforementioned Brooklyn Rake, but alas, the rake ain’t raking. My man is too busy fucking girls at my place to bother writing about it. Stay tuned, though: one day soon, he’ll put aside his tool and pick up his quill.

For now, Rake’s blog is just limp.

Speaking of grooms, it won’t be long before a fresh-faced teenager becomes my son-in-law. That’s right: this month, my nineteen-year-old daughter Rachel takes a husband.

Finally, I can lay to rest my anxieties about her fate as a spinster.

My children and I will be at the wedding, along with my grandmother, my parents, my siblings and my nieces and nephews. None of us thinks it wise that Rachel marries so young—even seven-year-old Lillie has said as much to her adored sister—but we love Rachel and we respect her undeniable love for Ray.

That’s all we need. Ray is family now. He’s my son.

I look forward to getting to know him.

My ex wife Lucy never responded to her invitation to the wedding. We reckon she won’t be there.

I’ll tell you about the wedding in time, but no time soon. I’ve got other stories to tell you in the meantime.

Still, just so you know, I’ll soon be away for a spell. After the wedding, I’m taking the kids Down South to be with family.

I may post now and then when I am away; I may not. But that doesn’t mean I’m not thinking of you.

Hell fire, sugar. I’m cooking something special with you in mind.


Asian Big Girl said...

Wait, if Ray's your son, does this mean he gets to be my boyfriend too? I'll clear it w/the other two of course...

Also, I want you to encourage Lillie to be Goth Girl while away, coz she's too damn cute when she wears all black.

Not that, you know, I'm a bad influence or anything. :)

...and no dye-ing of her hair w/o me!

Wendy said...

Yay, weddings! Soon you might be a Grampa. Thats hot.

Viviane said...

I'm looking forward to seeing the pics.

Anna said...

Please tell me that you will all eat Tuna Helper in celebration!

Tom Paine said...

Thanks for highlighting my post about my dirty talking girl, C. And congratulations on the wedding, though it brings some heavy responsabilities to your daughter. C. was only 19 when we got married.

Neil said...

my brother just got married. funny.