Showing posts with label Time Out New York. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Time Out New York. Show all posts

Monday, November 09, 2009

The Big Talk (Sex)



The cover story of the November issue of Time Out New York Kids deals with the “big talk”—teaching your children about sex. It includes the advice of such experts as Jessica Valenti, Laura Berman and Amy Levine, as well as first-person stories from parents including Nikol Hasler, host and co-creator of the very entertaining Midwest Teen Sex Show, and Saul Goode, who talks about his son, the dress-up princess.

For the issue, I participated in a roundtable discussion with other city parents—and such cool company it is! As we compared notes, I realized that I was the only parent of children over the age of seven. As a result, our discussion largely centered on early childhood, though I did talk a bit about raising tweens and teens. Along the way, I suggested there needn't be a "big talk" so much as an ongoing dialogue that may not always be guided by parents. Here’s a selection of my participation, as well as a link to the entire feature.

“You want them to know they can come to you and say, ‘What is this thing?’ or ‘Explain this thing to me.’ But sometimes they may get themselves in a jam. They may need to take a pregnancy test. I grew up with people who were afraid to go to their parents, kids who went and got abortions without their parents ever knowing about it. I would rather not have my children in the same situation.”

Parental Guidance Suggested

Monday, April 20, 2009

Genie

A journalism student assigned to write a profile of an interesting person asked me to be his subject. I agreed. He followed me around for a weekend, subsequently interviewing some of my friends as well as myself. Here is the result; fingers crossed for an A.

A family man and a sexual genie, Jefferson is someone who in a way embodies human sexuality in its freest state. With pale skin, blue eyes, a receding hairline and a relatively slim frame, Jefferson doesn't really seem like your average ladies’ man. However, despite his appearance, he has more girlfriends than fingers and toes and leads quite an interesting double life. On one side of the coin, he a loving father of four children, an ex-husband and writer. On the other side, he is a ladies’ man, a “dom,” a sexual fanatic of sorts and a “genie of the sexual fantasy lamp.”

Jefferson was born in the Deep South. His first sexual experience with a girl that he can remember was way back when he was just four years old. One day his babysitter came to him while he was down for a nap. She put his hand on her vagina and began to masturbate with it. Then she left and he took a nap. As far as he knew in terms in sexual experience, you rub your hand between a girl's legs on something that feels like a Brillo pad, it gets wet and she begins to make scary noises. This was just the start.

His next sexual experience was with this girl named Roxanne who was always following him around. One day he went to his friend's house and Roxanne followed him there. Incidentally, the parents weren't home so all three got into bed with the lights off. From there Roxanne started to play around with him as did his friend, unknowingly. Once his friend found out though, he promptly left the room. It was dark, it was wet, it was fast. He may have lost his virginity . . .

He would apparently lose his virginity about two more times and have plenty more sexual experiences in his high school year and college years with both guys and girls. Once word got around that he put out, he became the go-to guy for that sort of thing. Kinky girlfriends, a boyfriend here and there, Jefferson lived out his college years frequently having sex with anyone who caught his attention, even members of the faculty. He also wrote papers and painted things while he was at college.

His powers as a sex genie started after his divorce when he accidentally had an orgy at his place. He attended an underwear party in Brooklyn and afterward, one girl said “What I'd like to do is go someplace else and get naked!” Naturally he said, “We can go back to my place.” So they headed back to his place and well, with a group of naked people dancing, something is bound to happen. They had an orgy. For the first time since adolescence, he and at least six other people he didn't even know were all having sex in the same room.

He came to know couples that happened to be swingers and, after getting to know this kind of crowd, he would use online sites to set up orgies. After telling a friend stories about the orgies, she suggested that he should start a blog. In Jefferson's own words “When you have sex with a lot of people and then you also have orgies, and have friends of friends, and then a blog, you start to develop this network of possibilities. So I just put the word out that if people want something arranged and I could do it, I'd be happy to do so.” And this is how he came to be a sort of sex genie. A man who has the power to fulfill people's deepest sexual fantasies.

From a staged rape to transforming a girl into a cake to be eaten and served, if Jefferson can do it, he will. One satisfied girlfriend, Lola, says that he made her feel very powerful sexually and he came at a time when she really needed someone like him. Another girlfriend, Nancy, had a several fantasies fulfilled, such as a few threesomes and sex in an office.

But Jefferson isn't all about sex. He also has children from his former marriage and one child from a previous relationship. Even though he and his wife got divorced for reasons entirely unrelated to his lifestyle (he was monogamous throughout the marriage), his marriage did come back to haunt him. His ex-wife discovered his sex life after reading about his blog in Time Out New York and tried to prevent him from seeing his children. But a person's sexuality isn't an indicator of his morality or character. Jefferson is a perfectly capable father and thankfully was able to retain joint custody of his kids.

With his lifestyle, certain relationships tend to get messy. He lets all his girls and guys know that he really isn't into monogamy at this point in is life but that still doesn't stop a few from wanting him all to themselves. This occasionally creates messy problems.

One thing that really stands out is how other people view Jefferson. Just about everyone he knows thinks he’s a really nice guy who cares about people He cares for his family and all of his partners.

Although he was born in the South, his very liberal, wanton sexual lifestyle is something that makes him seem like his place in here in New York. At least in this city, if people make noise complaints and walk into an apartment full of naked people, one nude girl go-go dancing, another being flogged, another being spanked and a lesbian threesome in the next room along with a blowjob gangbang, they'll just tell them to keep the noise down and probably wouldn't freak out.

I’ve been called many things, but a "sexual genie?" That’s new.

I particularly enjoyed the final paragraph. Reading this list of orgiastic activities, I thought at first that my young journalist was indulging in a flight of fancy. Then I recalled a party he’d attended at my side and recalled: why yes, that had been some night.

Thursday, April 10, 2008

Letter of the Week

Here’s a nice pick-me-up. The following was chosen as Time Out New York’s “Letter of the Week,” in response to the Secret Lives issue earlier this month.

Secret Service

Thanks to your Secret Lives of New Yorkers issue, I found a guy who could give me an orgasm! After being so intrigued by Jefferson’s story, I went to his blog, we emailed a bit and then had a meeting. After much cunnilingus, he was successfully able to get me off! He was the second man to ever do that. (Thank God for vibrators.) He might be helping me find my g-spot soon, too! Thanks again!

A., via email

She only left out the part in which I had to remove a painting from the wall she had been slammed against.

Wednesday, March 05, 2008

Secret Lives



The current issue of Time Out New York features the “secret lives” of New Yorkers who lead double existences. Meet the lawyer who is also a go-go dancer, the doctor who is a pothead, the cabbie who is a financial analyst . . . and a certain parent who is a pervert.

I am . . . A Family Guy/Orgy Enthusiast

Check it out: I'm referenced on the cover as "an orgy-loving dad." I sure hope my ex doesn't have a dentist appointment this week.

Although it’s written as first person narrative, I didn’t actually pen the article. As you’ll read, I had my hands full at the time.

Friday, October 05, 2007

Time Out New York

The annual sex issue of Time Out New York is out, and within you will find many of my friends, along with yours truly.

Tess reveals to her lover a recurring desire for forced sex. Together, they bring her fantasies to life, although at some cost to her wardrobe.

Audacia Ray cites my expertise in double penetration. To put my know-how to the test, she takes my Madeline off for a threesome with another man. Hey, now wait a minute . . .

With the womenfolk thus preoccupied, I trade my street clothes for a towel to cruise gay bathhouses. Applying the time-honored codes for steamy pickups, I encounter a situation that wasn’t in the game books.

I Want . . . Gay Bathhouse Sex

Among many other features, there’s also a handy Pick-a-Fetish Megachart, for those looking to get started in such activities as breath control, spanking, fisting, or squirting. There, you’ll find advice from pals including Sinclair, Selina, Boymeat, and Lolita Wolf. I’m there too, lurking at the masturbation parties.

Now on newsstands and nightstands in New York; online everywhere.

Welcome to those of you tuning in for the first time. Please feel free to peruse the Archive, located in the sidebar at left, for more tales of parenting and perversion. Also visit my friends via the links in the left sidebar. Many of us get naked together. You may come to know us all rather intimately.

Enjoy.