Strap-On 101

“I think the sex magic class sounds intriguing,” Selina said, pointing to the schedule in her hands.

“I’m not into the New Age stuff,” I said, reading over her shoulder. “But I’m down for the ritual baths. You can keep your spirituality off my body, thank you very much, but being outside with naked people is awesome.”

“You are rather predictable, aren’t you, Jefferson?” Viviane said. She looked at Selina. “Put me down for ritual baths, too.”

We had arrived too late to take advantage of the Friday schedule of classes. On Saturday morning, after Tristan’s orientation, Selina, Viviane and I set off to learn about strap-ons. Nina Hartley was the instructor.

Marcus had no use for strap–ons. He headed off for a class designed for people with libidos that didn’t match those of their partners. I could see why this topic might be of interest to Marcus; no one could possibly keep up with his insatiability.

“Have fun with fake dicks,” he said, a little derisively. “I’m taking my real one with me.”

Marcus could scoff, but I needed to learn more about strap-ons. They are all the rage with the crowd at my sex parties. I sometimes josh that they are going to make cock superfluous. And it’s not entirely a joke: when my friend Linda acquired her strap-on, she immediately bypassed me as the most popular blonde top. When she’s around, I’m lucky to get sloppy seconds.

As we crossed the lawn to the barn, where the strap-on class was to be conducted, I saw Lolita walking toward us. She was fresh from teaching a session on flogging, and carried a bag of flogs and other implements.

It was the first time I had seen her since our spontaneous roll in the grass. We had parted company near dawn, just a few hours earlier. Lolita had just spent nearly two of those hours on her feet conducting an introduction to beating.

She looked up and saw us. She slumped forward, her body giving over to weariness.

I skipped ahead to her side.

“Lolita, you poor thing,” I kissed her cheek. “You look like death. Did you get any sleep at all?”

“I don’t remember,” she frowned. “If I did, I must have slept through it.”

“Oh, ma pauvre. I’m sorry I kept you from your bed. You must have been so late for your cuddle date.”

“Yeah, well, she was asleep, so . . .”

I put my hands on her cheeks and interrupted her with a kiss. My tongue parted her lips. I felt giddy as my cock woke to the sensation.

“I think this answers Marcus’s question about where Jefferson was last night,” Selina teased, catching up to us.

“Of course, we knew,” Viviane responded.

I pulled back, putting a finger to my lips. “Busted,” I shrugged to Lolita.

She shrugged and smiled. I grinned at her smile. We were behaving so coyly with one another, enjoying the flush of puppy love at camp.

“Are you coming to strap-on class?” Viviane asked. “Nina Hartley is supposed to be amazing!”

“She’s really great, but I can’t,” Lolita said. “I have a play date before lunch.”

“Don’t wear yourself out,” I said quietly, rubbing my toe into the grass. “It might be nice if you had some energy left . . . you know, later, if, you know, you needed it.”

Viviane slapped my arm lightly. “Don’t be mean to her.”

“I don’t have a mean bone in my body,” I smiled. I leaned close to rub against Lolita. “My warm, soft, electric body . . .”

Lolita laughed and pushed me away. “Go play with dildos. I have a girl to carve up, and I’m late already.”

“Okay, okay, later,” I waved. We both looked back at one another as we walked away. She began to run, a lightness in her step.

“You two are too cute,” Selina said. “When did all that transpire?”

“Oh, it’s been transpiring,” I said, patting her back. “Do try to keep up.”

On the way to the barn, I was distracted by something going on at the basketball court. Selina and Viviane went ahead to class.

A wooden frame had been erected at one end of the asphalt. A nude man was bound to the frame, his legs and arms spread apart so that his body was splayed wide. He was surrounded by a small group of young women in pigtails and schoolgirl uniforms.

One of the girls was beating his back with a flogger as another used his torso as a chalkboard.

The man howled with each blow.

“Why is he being punished?” I asked a schoolgirl sitting in the grass.

“Because is a bad teacher,” she replied, her eyes wide. She looked back at the teacher and narrowed her gaze to slits. “Bad, bad, bad!” she spat.

“Bad, bad, bad teacher!” echoed the girl with the flogger, accentuating each use of the word “bad” with a descending blow.

The teacher squirmed and cried out with each impact.

“Huh,” I said. “He must have been very bad indeed.”

“Yes,” the schoolgirl nodded. “Bad, bad, bad!” she shouted.

“Bad, bad, bad!” echoed the flogger.

The teacher screamed in agony.

I figured it was best for me to keep my mouth shut.

I watched for a moment before saying goodbye to the schoolgirl. I was late for class.

The barn door was open when I arrived.

“Look, as far as I’m concerned, anything bigger than six inches is just showboating. Okay?”

Everyone nodded, riveted as the naked porn star explained dildos.

I don’t know why I was surprised to discover Nina Hartley nude.

She sat on her haunches on a long wooden table behind an array of silicone phalluses. She held one in each hand.

“Now, you see the curve to this one?” she said, holding her left hand aloft. “This is great for hitting the g-spot if you curve it up. But,” she flipped the dildo, “turn it down if you doing it doggy style, or to hit the prostate on a man. That’s one advantage dildos have over bio cocks—you can adjust the size and position to suit your needs.”

Selina sat in a folding chair close to the front, bent over to take notes. Viviane waved from the risers, where she had saved a place for me.

“Thanks for the seat,” I whispered. “Uh, Nina Hartley is kinda hot, all naked and shit.”

“’Kinda?’” Viviane said. “She’s fucking gorgeous.”

Of course, like everyone else in the room, I had seen Nina nude many times. She’s been in over six hundred porn films since her debut in the mid-eighties, and she appears nude in her books and website. Even so, I hadn’t expected her to conduct the class in the all together.

I was still new to sex camp.

Nina stepped from the table to demonstrate a few different harnesses and attachment rings. She fitted the straps over her hips and smooth pussy.

I was attentive, if distracted by her luminous skin, glowing under the contrast between indoor spotlights and the gray morning light from the windows. I wasn’t sure which was stronger, the desire for oil paints or a palm of spit.

All those porn videos crowding my eyes, and I had never noticed the translucence of Nina Hartley’s creamy smooth skin.

Eventually, I was able to focus on her instructions. She was, as it happened, an engaging and funny speaker. Nina was in her element before an audience of admirers who all felt that she was already an intimate friend.

“Okay, so, lube: there are all kinds of lube, and you will find the one you like. My advice, though, is to use lots and lots of it. And of course, no silicone lube on silicone toys. The toys will melt in your mouth and your hands, and that’s only fun with M&Ms.”

Barry arrived and sat beside me. I barely recognized him in clothes.

“Man, she’s hot!” he whispered to me.

“Yeah, we already covered that. I didn’t see you at breakfast.”

“I slept in,” he said. “I was up late fucking that girl for two hours.”

“Nice work.”

“Yeah, you should’ve been there.”

“Next time, you should invite me.” I had missed a second threesome in the wee hours, in addition to the one my so-called boyfriend had cockblocked.

As Nina tried on different harnesses and dildos, I noticed a couple sitting to my left. He was burly fellow in his mid-fifties, with a ring of close-cropped white hair circling his round skull. He held a long chain attached to the neck of a tall curly-haired woman in her mid-twenties. She smiled blankly as she watched the class.

Her torso was encased in a straight jacket.

Now, that must be nice, I thought. When I grow up, I might also like to keep a pretty girl on a leash.

Nina called on a volunteer to assist with her demonstration. I recognized her as the woman who had flashed us the day before, the one who reminded me of Susan Sarandon.

She was wearing only boots and a corset.

“You just couldn’t be hotter,” Nina admired, absentmindedly stroking her cock. “Though, I don’t know—should you keep the corset or show your tits?”

“Tits!” someone called from the audience.

“I think so, too,” Nina agreed. The volunteer turned so that Nina could untie the corset. Her breasts were exposed as it slid forward.

The audience murmured its approval. Nina turned to face her. “That is even hotter. You have amazing tits.”

“And they are real!” someone shouted. The audience laughed.

“Hey, if you are born with them, that’s great,” Nina replied. She cupped her own breasts and pressed them up. “Mine may not be natural, but they are sure enough real. And they are paid for.”

She bowed as her breasts were applauded.

“Okay, now,” Nina clapped her hand. “Let’s get you on the table so I can fuck you. Lay on your back while I put a condom on this cock.”

The volunteer hopped onto the table and lay back as instructed.

“What, is she really going to fuck her?” Viviane asked.

“Sure looks that way,” I nodded.

“Damn,” Barry said.

“Now, for my money, you can get by with six dildos, max,” Nina said, taking her position between the volunteer’s spread legs. “I don’t even know how many I own, maybe a few dozen, but I always rely on the same ones.” She eased her cock into the woman’s body. “I keep a big one, of course, but I never use it, except on size queens.” She looked down at the volunteer. “How does that feel?”

“Oh, very good,” she laughed. Titters erupted across the audience.

“Good,” Nina smiled. “And see, this is only six inches, but that’s all you need—just like bio cock. If I sit back a bit, and pull up her legs, like this, I can hit her g-spot very well.”

“Oh yeah, very well!” the volunteer moaned.

“Good! Now, obviously, if this was a real session, we would have had foreplay, and I would have played with her tits more, like this.” Nina began to massage her volunteer’s breasts. “Just like any sex, fucking with strap-ons is hotter with foreplay. Then I would be more likely to make her cum.”

“Actually, you’re getting close,” her volunteer said.

“Oh really?” Nina smiled. “Well, let’s focus on that a bit.” Nina continued thrusting, her posture erect as her ass pivoted back and forth.

“Okay, that’s it . . . that’s it . . . ,” her volunteer sighed, before issuing a loud moan.

“Good, go with it, go with it,” Nina encouraged. When her orgasm subsided, the volunteer went limp. We applauded.

“Nice,” Nina said, pulling out. “That’s what we like to see. Thank you so much for helping out.” Nina stepped off the table, and gave her hand to the woman. We applauded again as she returned to her seat.

“Smoking,” I said to Viviane.

“That was lovely,” she said. “She couldn’t have done it better with a bio cock.”

A new phrase hand entered our shared vocabulary. Henceforth, I would no longer have a penis. I would have a “bio cock.”

The next volunteer was also fitted with a bio cock, a bisexual man I recognized as Switchme, one of the camp instructors. He was nude, and had brought a dildo he wanted Nina to use on him.

“Now, with guys, or with anal sex with women, you want to have them clean out first,” Nina said. “So I’ve asked my male volunteers to use an enema before class. Did you do that, Switchme?”

“Yes,” he nodded. “Now, how do you want me? On the table? Face up or down?”

“Let’s have you face up, just to be consistent,” Nina said.

Switchme lay back on the table and lubed his ass as Nina attached his condom to her harness. It was much larger than the one she had previously used. She twisted her hips to watch it wriggle.

“So Switchme is obviously something of a size queen,” she teased.

“Dead to rights,” Switchme nodded.

Nina rolled a condom on her cock and covered it in lube. She crouched between Switchme’s legs and began to ease it into his hole.

“Ouch, wait a second,” Switchme complained. He fingered himself, applying more lube. “Okay, try again.”

Nina began to enter him. Again, he stopped her.

“This is just not working,” Switchme said.

“Maybe if you turned over,” Nina suggested. “You may be tensing up in front of an audience.”

“That’s never been much of an issue before,” he said, flipping over. He raised his ass to Nina. She tried again, and once again, he stopped her.

Nina slapped his ass. “I think we have to accept that this isn’t working,” she said. She turned to the class. “Again, in a real session, we’d have more time for foreplay, to relax him and prepare him for anal play. We don’t have time for that now, but it’s important to remember that—with strap-ons, just like bio cocks, you really need foreplay with anal sex.”

Selina scribbled, nodding.

Switchme demonstrated a strap-on harness he uses, explaining that it was useful for men who wanted to try sex with a larger penis.

“You can also use that for double penetration,” Nina added. “So you can use your dildo for one hole, and your bio cock for another.”

“We should try that,” Viviane whispered.

I smiled. “I know, we usually have more bio cock around than dildos.”

Nina called forward another volunteer, another beautiful woman who wore only knee-high leather boots.

“Now, we’re going to try doing it doggy style,” Nina said as she picked out a new dildo.

Nina instructed the volunteer to arch her ass high. She talked to the class as she entered the woman’s pussy, discussing various positions as she demonstrated them.

“And this,” she said, “Is the best way I know to stimulate the g-spot.” She poised herself high over the volunteer’s ass and aimed her thrusts down. Nina’s body barely touched that of the volunteer as she fucked her. She held herself aloft on her toes.

The audience was hushed in awe. The only sounds were the volunteer breathing through her moans, and the cries of the bad teacher outside, still enduring his beating.

I have never seen anyone use that position to better visual effect. I applauded. The audience joined me.

“She is in amazing shape,” Viviane marveled.

I nodded as I clapped.

A sudden movement in my periphery caught my attention. The young woman in the straightjacket had bent forward as she stood, her hair falling into her face. The man had jerked the chain leash, which was positioned between her legs. Evidently, the metal rubbed her clit under her short skirt. With a few swift tugs, he brought her to orgasm. She buckled and twitched silently.

The man noticed me watching and winked. I smiled. He seemed like a nice guy. I wondered if he would let me fuck his charge.

I was kind of turned on by her bruised thighs.

Nina had time for one more volunteer. She had selected another man, a submissive who seemed well known to the other campers. She positioned him on his elbows and knees so that he could look at his mistress as she fucked him.

This time, it worked well. She gave him a good, solid fucking.

Afterwards, class was dismissed.

“That was incredible,” Selina said, closing her notebook. “I was so glad to see that the problems I’ve had with strap-ons can happen to anyone. I learned a lot.”

“I even learned a few tricks to try with my natural endowment,” I said.

“Yeah, but bio cocks are pretty passé,” Viviane teased. “You need to get with the program.”

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