While out of town the other day, I perused the stock of a liquor store near my hotel.
When what to my wandering eyes should appear, but . . . a bourbon with my name on it! Jefferson’s Reserve.
I tell you, if this weren’t real life, I wouldn’t believe it myself.
First person to send me a case of this stuff gets a full body massage—with a happy ending.
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'Jefferson's Reserve is a hand-made bourbon, blended in small batches of a dozen barrels, for a total of 2400, hand-numbered bottles. The bourbon is aged in new white oak barrels that are heavily charred to expose the bourbon to the sugars in the wood. Jefferson's Reserve matures for 15 years, an expensive, laborious process that yields an exceptionally elegant and flavorful bourbon.' (Amer. Mixologist)
ReplyDeleteTwo bottles, coming right up.
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ReplyDeleteok, i shall try this again.
ReplyDeletei was feeling a bit left out and decided to give one of these blogspot things a whirl.
I don't smoke, either, Marcus. But you keep foisting those Robustos on me--what's a boy to do?
ReplyDeleteOh, I can do cigars. Latest were Hoyo de Monterreys, from London. If you're nice, Marcus...
ReplyDeleteMarcus can be very nice for good cigars, Viviane.
ReplyDeleteBe careful what you wish for . . .
Say,
ReplyDeleteWhich bourbon was it that Marcus brought to Jefferson's place on April 2nd?
Too bad you don't really drink bourbon, Jefferson; that shit was good! Especially in a slow stream from your lips to mine...delicious.
Hey, wait a minute!
Madeline, that new picture in your profile is nice.
ReplyDeleteYou are too kind, Viviane!
ReplyDeleteAre you trying to endear yourself to me? Because it's working!
What Jefferson didn't mention is that I will be awarding the prize for the bourbon purchase.
And during the massage we are both naked, so, um, it's pretty hot.
Ah geez, no one said anything about a reward by proxy!
ReplyDeleteWait - Jefferson doesn't drink bourbon? Well this just calls everything else into question! I was soooo enjoying the illusion that everything was completely true. How disappointing....
ReplyDeletelook, penisbrain, jefferson DOES drink bourbon. but you're right, the REST is all fiction. happy??? ugh.
ReplyDeleteand madeline, look, bitch: DON'T be stealing my pitch. and not just 'cause mitzi will feel like she missed summer camp again. HERE'S how i sell my services, exactly (i expect you to have this memorized by friday):
"it's a full body massage. during it we're both naked. it's a complete release of ALL of your tension.
i use a good quality oil on your skin... actually, we both get oiled up...so it's pretty hot.
i'm certified in massage... and my style is a mix of deep tissue, swedish, and shiatsu.
does this... [pause here, as if you are feeling slightly hesitant] ... sound like... [pause again] ... something you might like?"
i have virtually 100% interest at this point. when the prices come, some of them start dropping out, but that's only cause i'm one of the best in dc - and my rates reflect that. but ach, that's another story altogether.
damn, jeff, let's have a drink.
Bring it on Camper.
ReplyDeletehttp://www.mcphee.com/bigindex/current/11476.html
ReplyDeleteto go with the bourbon.